Chapter 5

The Notebook

I'm still sitting by the graveyard, I've been coming here everyday for the last month, I can't get over him, and that's what has me in this big mess. As time passes by, I began reading the notebook Dr. Tourette gave me, there are many really sad poems, some quotations of Edgar Allan Poe, and other dark poets, but there is this story that shocked me:

"The True meaning of happiness"

There was once a little girl, who was traveling around the world, she, was looking for the true meaning of happiness. This girl couldn't smile, laugh, nor giggle.

She started to travel around the world, in order to find out why she and only she couldn't be happy.

That’s when she left home, carrying only one backpack, in it she had just one clothes change, one dictionary, some money and one guide, with it she left home. She was starting her trip when she decided she’d first go to the park, so she headed to the nearest park.

She saw all the park empty, all the kids were gone, she suddenly thought that kids probably were at school; on her way to the school she saw a dog that was running away, the dog was crossing a street in order to get to the girl. She was conscious of the danger of crossing a street running and with out any precaution, the dog was hit by a car and died, after the dog was a kid, who saw the way the dog had died. The girl saw her opportunity and asked the boy what made him happy, the boy sobbing answered

- The only thing hat made me happy has now died.

The girl started walking away and traveling in each town she encountered, she headed to parks, but they were all empty, she headed to schools, but they were all destroyed. But when she finally found some one she asked

–What makes you happy?- She received lots of answers, but they were only empty words, she heard things like: My toys, my pet, my books, my TV, my school, my computer, my friends, but, what if all this suddenly disappeared? Will they be eternally sad? Therefore, she kept her way looking for an answer that would apply every day, every time and every one.

She found in one of the many cities one girl with big eyes and small mouth, when she saw her she asked her name by saying

- Hi I'm - she was thinking of a name when she realized her name didn't matter so she keep by saying -I'm a girl who has no name who are you?

The other girl looked at the girl with no name and answered.

-My name is Fatima, what can I do for you?-

The girl with no name asked her question -Fatima, what makes you happy?-

Fatima looked at the girl with no name and said -What kind of question is that? If you don't know what happiness is why do you ask what makes me happy?

The girl with no name started thinking the true meaning of happiness, so she sat at a swing and stared at her feet, wondering the true meaning of happiness.

Sometime after that Fatima sat with her and said -The meaning of happiness is hidden on your heart, the meaning of happiness is unique for each human being, I am happy for the simple reason of being alive. What makes you happy? –

The girl with no name answered- I'm happy because one of you human being has finally answered my question, I have been here on Earth several centuries, asking every kid what made him happy, but they always answered things like: my dog, my skates, my school, my toys, my T.V., but you, you Fatima, you have ended my search, you are happy just by being you.

I couldn’t think of anything this girl was like wow. I turned the sheet to read the next entry, it was empty, meaning I should write my own entry, I began thinking and suddenly it hit me.

I took out my pen and began writing.

Waiting

I'm here waiting for you to come back

Just sitting here in the graveyard

I'm sitting here, wondering

Why you'll never come back?

Why, why you left me alone?

In a gravestone I can read

"A lovers never fulfilled dream"

I'm waiting here, thinking

When will you come for me?

The day you died was the best,

It was the day our dreams came true

But hell tore us apart

Hell won't leave us be happy together

Forgive me my love

For it's my fault you're down there

Today is cloudy, but it won't rain

It used to rain every time we dated

It used to pour every time we kissed

It’s cloudy today, sun won't come out

It's cloudy but rain won't fall

I'm here walking in the graveyard

I sit down by your grave

I clean it, from the dry leaves from that old tree

I'm holding a beautiful white rose

One that was supposed to be on our wedding bouquet

I'm here playing with it wondering

Why did they take you away from me?

Why can't we live happily ever after?

We stay here staring at each other

Warmly, coldly, distantly, lovingly

Our eyes will never meet again

The day you died I died

We had promised each other to be lovers forever

Just as Romeo and Juliet

And just as Juliet committed suicide

When she saw Romeo, dear Romeo dead

To join her beloved Romeo she took her own life away

They couldn't live without the other

Just as we can't

Wait for me my love, my dear Romeo

I'm your Juliet and I’ll join you in death.

-Wally, I must go now- I said as I gathered my things and stood up.

On his grave was half a heart, the left part of a heart.

As I walked down the street heading home, I began thinking all the things that he had suffered since Elementary.