Kiseki hid behind me as Damyen kneled down to look at him.
-Hello there - Damyen said reaching for Kiseki - What's your name little boy?
- His name is Kiseki - I said picking him up - he gets uncomfortable around strangers. - Kiseki was shaking in my arms trying to hide from Damyen's hipnotic eyes, I swear it felt as if my soul was being bottled up in his eyes.
-Oh how cute, what does Kiseki means? - he said curious
-.... Miracle .... -
-Oh he is adorable look at his pretty eyes, green? weird color for a dogs eyes - Damyen said looking away from Kiseki
I placed Kiseki on his bag, where I carry him and he hid again.
-So, Ikari, how old is Kiseki?
-Just a few months old, he's been with me for 3 months ...
-So let's see, if it's July the 1st, he was born on April's fool?, awesome ...
-No, he was given to me April the first, but he was a month old already ... he was born on Wally's B-day
-Who's Wally?
-He is my fiance - I said
-You aren't wearing a ring - he noted we were on his car in our way to some restaurant Wally would qualify as fancy and ridiculously expensive
-Well, I don't like it to get any dirt ... - I said trying to hide my pain
-So ... where is this Wally guy?
My tears began to well up -... he ... - I began - .... he ... he ... -
-Oh I get it, don't worry, you'll be ok, It's all gonna be okay - he said hugging me after parking his car - don't you worry
Kiseki then jumped out of my bag and sat on Damyen's lap, looking intensly at him, then he growled and jumped back at me. I'm not going to cry, not infront of him anyway, I need to figure out how to get this arranged marriage canceled, and I'll have to find a way to be with Wally again, and he is not letting me commit suicide. Well he and Kiseki are the ones holding me back to dear life.
We entered the fancy and ridiculously expensive restaurant, called The Belverde, it's Asian, French, Contemporary, Eclectic, International, Californian Cousines, located on Santa Monica ßoulevard, just as every thing else, we sat outdoors, on the roof plant, it's a nice place, fancy and ... nice, I'm beginning to believe that the lack of words is due to Wally, he never used large words, anyways the waiter took our order, while eating we just did small talk. He's done his research, form small talk we went to a more business like, he knows tons about my family business and how we expand, he thinks it's a great deal, our marriage, that would be great for his business, 7 per 1 he said, I don't really know what he meant.
After brunch, Damyen took me to a La Cienega Park, it's nearby, and began telling me about his life, I just nod randomly and kept my eyes on Kiseki. For what I heard, he is Damyen THE Damyen, current last name is Woodland, he is 25 he is a lawyer, he loves sports and some gambles, and he has been living in seven states now, Ohio, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Texas, Rhode Island, New Jersey, and California. He hates to own a dog, but loves to see 'em, he loves kids, he said something about being easier to convince of some sort of magic. He then asked about me, I told him we are from Japan, he already knew that, that I'm quite rage-full, he said that was obvious, because the looks on my eyes, he said something about that being good for him.
-So what's with Wally? - he asked out of the blue, weren't we just talking about my anger being noticeable?
-What with him? - I asked confused
-Well if he IS your fiance, shouldn't he be here trying to break my neck or something?
-Oh ... well ... I doubt you would want to see him ... - I said
-Why, is he a ghost or something?
-Well .. yeah ... you could say so ...
-Hold on - he said, Kiseki was sleeping peacefully by a tree he found comfortable - are you telling me you will be married to a dead guy?
I blinked in surprise ... -Well, no, we were going to get married before his death - I said feeling ridiculous
-Oh, you were scarring me - he said smiling. I'm sure he is taking all my words about Wally as a joke.
-It's not funny you know? - I said my rage building up
-I know, still, I think it would be funny if you saw it from the outside. - he said
I barked at him then - YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING GET OUT OF MY SIGHT
-That's more like it - he said - I like it when you are mad, you should do that more often
-WALLY DIDN'T LIKE IT!- I said angrily again
-Well screw Wally, he is dead now, you can't do a thing about it can you?
-YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW IT? I'VE TRIED TO REACH HIM BUT SOMETHING ALWAYS STOPS ME!
-What if I told you ... - he said calmly - that I know of a way you can reach him
-WHAT?
-You know, be happy together with him, for the rest of eternity
-How? ... - I said shyly yet still somewhat angry
Kiseki then woke up and faster than a bolt, bit Damyen's hand and began growling
-We'll talk about this, some other time - Damyen said, his hand didn't appear to have any teeth marks it was as if Kiseki hadn't bite him. -It appears that he... - he said eyeing Kiseki and then at nothing in particular - won't let me talk to you, just yet.
he stood up and said, - I'll send your car for you - then he walked away.
It started raining, and not a cloud could be seen, I looked a Kiseki who was sitting peacefully again by my side looking the other way. I smelled Wally's essence, and closed my eyes.
-Wally - I sighed, - how did you get all the way up here? You know I'd love to see you again right?
silence, that was my answer, then I heard a soft whisper with the wind, - I'm taking care of you, just as I promised -
-Wally... help me here, please I need to get this arranged marriage thing undone
-Kuki, we are 22 now, and he can give you happiness.
-But there is something about him that I don't like Wally.
-And what would that be?
-He is just like you, kind, bold, somewhat stupid, he sounds like you, and looks like you, I don't like it Wally, he likes watching me mad.
-I liked that too, but I wanted you to only show me that angry phase for me.
-Wally, please, stay with me, let me be with you.
-Kuki, honey, I told you already, you need to move on, I can't give you what you seek now
-I only want to be with you Wally, dead or alive, I need you.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Chapter 15
Kuki walked slowly to the studio where Kin Sanban was waiting for her, I know she'll suffer there, Kin is quite an ogre, and I'll enjoy her suffering, she desserves it, after all, her suffering was what earned her the honour of her name Ikari, she bacame ragefull after she suffered that much. She's here now, let's isten in.
Kuki knocked the door timidly.
-Come in Ikari - Kin said
Kuki walked in quietly, closing the door behind her.
-Sit down - Kin said
Kuki sat down across the desk, where Kin had some important papers. Kin has always been death serious, always before a talk with anyone, even more if it's family business, it's always stressing talking with him.
-Ikari, Kuki - Kin said, he uses the first names only when he is worried about health, - I'm worried about you, your enterprise is not growing, and, I'll bet it was Mr. Beatless, since he passed away you've been lost, you've seem to be waking a bit sice you started on those pills the shrink gave you, yet, that's not enough, therefore, I'll take you to a shaman next moonday, who must help you recover your lost soul
-Father? - Kuki said interrupting Kin- my enterprise has been growing slowly, but that's nothing to do with Wally, I started it two years ago, yo know that the first three years goes slowly, and after that it booms or crashes, and I'm sure that, if you let me
-Ikari - Kin said cutting her speech - you have changed and that ...boy ... did that to you, he has been behind your fortune, OUR fortune since the day he met you, he was slowly aproaching to his goal, and anyones knows that the Sanban, are a powerful company, you should know how long it took ME to build up this.
-Father, please, Wally was not interested in my money, he was
-HE - Kin said raising his voice - was nothing more than a pauper, he found you and his family made him go after you, at least his father did, why do you think his parents got divorced?
-'Cause, they didn't love each other any more ...?
-Ikari, you know me well, I know every employee, their familys and desires, when you were born, that Beatless boy had merly 3 months old, an unfortunate step of the destiny - Kin said coldly his elbows on the desk, and his hands were suporting his chin, his left hand on a fist and the right covering - then he moved so his son was able to asist to the same school my kids went, knowing you'd go there too, I knew his family would brake apart when it did, Mrs Beatless took the youngest Beatless, so he'd be free, Wallabee, had alrady a written destiny, a miscalculation I made, was that you would fall for him, you should know something importaant Ikari. In this family, we had always have arrenged marriages; unless, the head off the faamily, aproves the guy, or the kid we're talking about gets married earlier.
Kuki looked at Kin with horror but she never lost composture.
-Yukio, had his marriage arrenged two years ago, he had that time to find someone to love, but since he couldn't acomplished that, he got married with Suzuki's babygirl Yusuki, and he can't cheat on her, or else he will be disknowloged, and will lose all of the Sanban priviliges. Jiro and Takeshi, found someone we aproved and they loved, and they succeeded with their enterprise. Takako ... that little ... miss ... will pay sooner or later her sins, she, has Mr. King, Alexander is a quite good boy, he has helped Takako with her enterprise, spy equipment or something like that, Kiyoshi, with his wife, Aaliyah Robertson, grew quite quickly into a worldwide hotel chain; Ringo, got married with Mae Zayo Taylor, they have the best japaneese restaurants in the continent, now tell me, they all had a partner who would help 'em, how would Mr. beatless fit in this scale?
-Wally, was studying photography, and I'm a lawyer
-What's your enterprise Ikari?
-I'm ... I have the world of spectacle, I take care of family business, all about sues.
-Who would Mr. Beatless help you?
-He could have ... uhm ...
-Precisely nothing he could have done.
-What's your own business?
-I have a magazine working. Wally took the pictures I needed for the magazine.
-But he had no way to let you gain more than usual, did he?
-No, but..
-Yukio, married Suzuki, he has won a big part of the motorcicle world. Now Ikari, I've been thinking, and I think you need a husband who will be blind with power, and who will give all to the enterprise, then you'll be able to fly your own plane.
-What?!
-You'll be marrying in two years, March the 3rd, so you'll have enough time to make all the arrengements, and forget about Mr. Beatless.
-WHAT?! - Kuki said losing her cool, standing up and slamming her hands to the desk -YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
-Meet your new fiance, his name is ...
-I don't care! - I said - I do not want a new fiance! I will not marry, I don't want to marry anyone that is not Wally!
Ryo Kin was not surprised by my reaction, he had been waiting for her to explode with all my rage, she had to be rage-full again, 4 years had been since I had been peace-full and calm.
-Damyen, he is 24 years old.
-I SAID I DO NOT WANT ANY OTHER BOY IN MY LIFE WALLY IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT I WILL EVER MARRY I DO NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY - I said with a fiery look that hadn't possessed my eyes for nearly 4 years now.
-Damyen, comes from a wealthy family, they have this funerary business, they own the Woodland cementery that you constantly visit, I would be impressed if you didn't know him. - Father kept talking in a calm way.
-WHAT WERE YOU THINKING OTO-SAN!?!? I CAN NEVER LOVE ANYONE MY HEART BELONGS TO WALLY HE WAS AN ANGEL, AND HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY HEART - I kept paying almost no attention to her father's words.
-He will be picking you up next Saturday, by noon, you will go to brunch, and to a croquet game.
-I WON'T GO EVER IN A DATE WITH WHAT'S-HIS-NAME? - I said still rage full yet not quite screaming
-Damyen - Kuki stood up straight and after a few seconds, she sat back down.
-What does his name means? - I said
-His name means spirit.
-But, doesn't Damyen ... is the name of the devil?
-Well, yes, it also means demon Ikari, but you well know that our names, are just that, a name.
-Ok ... - I said - I will go out with him, yet I refuse to marry him.
-You are dismissed now Ikari - said my father, I walked out stomping and thinking in a way out of this, I have six days to figure this out.
After a long week of rage attacks and almost no time, well you see, I have been working on my enterprise, taking care of Kiseki, that stills follows me around, I still think of him in a sort of a son, college has been the death, you know with two careers at the time and stuff, I'm studying medicine, business administration, and mechanic engineer, I'm still in yoga, and I found out that there is this thing they call Reiki, that heals moving energies, and I'm starting that, Dr. Tourette, made me stop going to the graveyard for three months, she says that keeping my mind busy will help me assume Wally is death and I'll keep on with my life. I'm thinking on a way of taking him back to life, I found three ways, one is finding this guy called Damyen "the demon" and well basically selling my soul to find Wally and be together eternally in this place like limbo, since I wouldn't be able to go to heaven, yet I wouldn't go to hell, since I've been nice right? Right. The other is with the Ouija, I wouldn't be able to live with him, but I would be able to talk to him, I think. And the last one, and current winning option, yet the hardest, would be going to the graveyard, and well stop using those drugs that the shrink gave me, but using cocaine, Ace sells it, and since he has always loved me, Wally has always saying how he kept flirting with me, and how Ace would sell his drug business for me, if only I were alone, so I'll basically use him to get What I want.
Today it's Saturday and I'll meet this Damyen guy, I can't remember if my father told me his last name, but I can't go and ask him, so I'll just ask Damyen, I have a hinch that it's Woodland, like the graveyard, but I'll ask I don't want to be... anyways, I'm wearing my green skinny T-shirt with the legend "Don't Try Because You'll Never Get it" on golden letters, Skinny jeans that open up in a bell like form just above the knees and my white sneakers, my hair is down I'll take my jean jacket with me, just in case this "date" lasts long enough.
Noon, the hour I've been dreading for, Damyen is quite punctual, at 12:00:00 he knocked on the door, it was as if he were waiting for the seconds hand to hit the 12, so it would be 12 o'clock, James opened up and Damyen is nothing that I expected, I thought he would be a somewhat tall boy, skinny and ugly, but he is really tall, reaching 6' 1", muscular, he has deep black eyes a hint of red in the border of the iris, short black hair, he wears it like Wally used to, he has a childish smile that takes your breath away, he seems like ... a God, I thought I would never ever say that of a boy again, Wally was the only god-like person I knew.
-Good afternoon - Damyen said with a deep voice that turned my knees into jelly.
-... Good ... afternoon ... - I said
He smirked and said - My name is Damyen Wood-like - he said bowing gently his head he is wearing some baggy jeans, and black tight T-shirt you could see his iron muscles beneath it. -I'm Kuki ... Ikari Sanban - I said even if he already knew who I was.
He took my hand in his and kissed it gently - a pleasure to meet you - he said - shall we? - I just nod and we went away, Damyen reminds me so much of Wally, the only difference would be that Wally was blond an had green eyes, and Danyen has black hair and reddish eyes.
Kuki knocked the door timidly.
-Come in Ikari - Kin said
Kuki walked in quietly, closing the door behind her.
-Sit down - Kin said
Kuki sat down across the desk, where Kin had some important papers. Kin has always been death serious, always before a talk with anyone, even more if it's family business, it's always stressing talking with him.
-Ikari, Kuki - Kin said, he uses the first names only when he is worried about health, - I'm worried about you, your enterprise is not growing, and, I'll bet it was Mr. Beatless, since he passed away you've been lost, you've seem to be waking a bit sice you started on those pills the shrink gave you, yet, that's not enough, therefore, I'll take you to a shaman next moonday, who must help you recover your lost soul
-Father? - Kuki said interrupting Kin- my enterprise has been growing slowly, but that's nothing to do with Wally, I started it two years ago, yo know that the first three years goes slowly, and after that it booms or crashes, and I'm sure that, if you let me
-Ikari - Kin said cutting her speech - you have changed and that ...boy ... did that to you, he has been behind your fortune, OUR fortune since the day he met you, he was slowly aproaching to his goal, and anyones knows that the Sanban, are a powerful company, you should know how long it took ME to build up this.
-Father, please, Wally was not interested in my money, he was
-HE - Kin said raising his voice - was nothing more than a pauper, he found you and his family made him go after you, at least his father did, why do you think his parents got divorced?
-'Cause, they didn't love each other any more ...?
-Ikari, you know me well, I know every employee, their familys and desires, when you were born, that Beatless boy had merly 3 months old, an unfortunate step of the destiny - Kin said coldly his elbows on the desk, and his hands were suporting his chin, his left hand on a fist and the right covering - then he moved so his son was able to asist to the same school my kids went, knowing you'd go there too, I knew his family would brake apart when it did, Mrs Beatless took the youngest Beatless, so he'd be free, Wallabee, had alrady a written destiny, a miscalculation I made, was that you would fall for him, you should know something importaant Ikari. In this family, we had always have arrenged marriages; unless, the head off the faamily, aproves the guy, or the kid we're talking about gets married earlier.
Kuki looked at Kin with horror but she never lost composture.
-Yukio, had his marriage arrenged two years ago, he had that time to find someone to love, but since he couldn't acomplished that, he got married with Suzuki's babygirl Yusuki, and he can't cheat on her, or else he will be disknowloged, and will lose all of the Sanban priviliges. Jiro and Takeshi, found someone we aproved and they loved, and they succeeded with their enterprise. Takako ... that little ... miss ... will pay sooner or later her sins, she, has Mr. King, Alexander is a quite good boy, he has helped Takako with her enterprise, spy equipment or something like that, Kiyoshi, with his wife, Aaliyah Robertson, grew quite quickly into a worldwide hotel chain; Ringo, got married with Mae Zayo Taylor, they have the best japaneese restaurants in the continent, now tell me, they all had a partner who would help 'em, how would Mr. beatless fit in this scale?
-Wally, was studying photography, and I'm a lawyer
-What's your enterprise Ikari?
-I'm ... I have the world of spectacle, I take care of family business, all about sues.
-Who would Mr. Beatless help you?
-He could have ... uhm ...
-Precisely nothing he could have done.
-What's your own business?
-I have a magazine working. Wally took the pictures I needed for the magazine.
-But he had no way to let you gain more than usual, did he?
-No, but..
-Yukio, married Suzuki, he has won a big part of the motorcicle world. Now Ikari, I've been thinking, and I think you need a husband who will be blind with power, and who will give all to the enterprise, then you'll be able to fly your own plane.
-What?!
-You'll be marrying in two years, March the 3rd, so you'll have enough time to make all the arrengements, and forget about Mr. Beatless.
-WHAT?! - Kuki said losing her cool, standing up and slamming her hands to the desk -YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
-Meet your new fiance, his name is ...
-I don't care! - I said - I do not want a new fiance! I will not marry, I don't want to marry anyone that is not Wally!
Ryo Kin was not surprised by my reaction, he had been waiting for her to explode with all my rage, she had to be rage-full again, 4 years had been since I had been peace-full and calm.
-Damyen, he is 24 years old.
-I SAID I DO NOT WANT ANY OTHER BOY IN MY LIFE WALLY IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT I WILL EVER MARRY I DO NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY - I said with a fiery look that hadn't possessed my eyes for nearly 4 years now.
-Damyen, comes from a wealthy family, they have this funerary business, they own the Woodland cementery that you constantly visit, I would be impressed if you didn't know him. - Father kept talking in a calm way.
-WHAT WERE YOU THINKING OTO-SAN!?!? I CAN NEVER LOVE ANYONE MY HEART BELONGS TO WALLY HE WAS AN ANGEL, AND HE WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY HEART - I kept paying almost no attention to her father's words.
-He will be picking you up next Saturday, by noon, you will go to brunch, and to a croquet game.
-I WON'T GO EVER IN A DATE WITH WHAT'S-HIS-NAME? - I said still rage full yet not quite screaming
-Damyen - Kuki stood up straight and after a few seconds, she sat back down.
-What does his name means? - I said
-His name means spirit.
-But, doesn't Damyen ... is the name of the devil?
-Well, yes, it also means demon Ikari, but you well know that our names, are just that, a name.
-Ok ... - I said - I will go out with him, yet I refuse to marry him.
-You are dismissed now Ikari - said my father, I walked out stomping and thinking in a way out of this, I have six days to figure this out.
After a long week of rage attacks and almost no time, well you see, I have been working on my enterprise, taking care of Kiseki, that stills follows me around, I still think of him in a sort of a son, college has been the death, you know with two careers at the time and stuff, I'm studying medicine, business administration, and mechanic engineer, I'm still in yoga, and I found out that there is this thing they call Reiki, that heals moving energies, and I'm starting that, Dr. Tourette, made me stop going to the graveyard for three months, she says that keeping my mind busy will help me assume Wally is death and I'll keep on with my life. I'm thinking on a way of taking him back to life, I found three ways, one is finding this guy called Damyen "the demon" and well basically selling my soul to find Wally and be together eternally in this place like limbo, since I wouldn't be able to go to heaven, yet I wouldn't go to hell, since I've been nice right? Right. The other is with the Ouija, I wouldn't be able to live with him, but I would be able to talk to him, I think. And the last one, and current winning option, yet the hardest, would be going to the graveyard, and well stop using those drugs that the shrink gave me, but using cocaine, Ace sells it, and since he has always loved me, Wally has always saying how he kept flirting with me, and how Ace would sell his drug business for me, if only I were alone, so I'll basically use him to get What I want.
Today it's Saturday and I'll meet this Damyen guy, I can't remember if my father told me his last name, but I can't go and ask him, so I'll just ask Damyen, I have a hinch that it's Woodland, like the graveyard, but I'll ask I don't want to be... anyways, I'm wearing my green skinny T-shirt with the legend "Don't Try Because You'll Never Get it" on golden letters, Skinny jeans that open up in a bell like form just above the knees and my white sneakers, my hair is down I'll take my jean jacket with me, just in case this "date" lasts long enough.
Noon, the hour I've been dreading for, Damyen is quite punctual, at 12:00:00 he knocked on the door, it was as if he were waiting for the seconds hand to hit the 12, so it would be 12 o'clock, James opened up and Damyen is nothing that I expected, I thought he would be a somewhat tall boy, skinny and ugly, but he is really tall, reaching 6' 1", muscular, he has deep black eyes a hint of red in the border of the iris, short black hair, he wears it like Wally used to, he has a childish smile that takes your breath away, he seems like ... a God, I thought I would never ever say that of a boy again, Wally was the only god-like person I knew.
-Good afternoon - Damyen said with a deep voice that turned my knees into jelly.
-... Good ... afternoon ... - I said
He smirked and said - My name is Damyen Wood-like - he said bowing gently his head he is wearing some baggy jeans, and black tight T-shirt you could see his iron muscles beneath it. -I'm Kuki ... Ikari Sanban - I said even if he already knew who I was.
He took my hand in his and kissed it gently - a pleasure to meet you - he said - shall we? - I just nod and we went away, Damyen reminds me so much of Wally, the only difference would be that Wally was blond an had green eyes, and Danyen has black hair and reddish eyes.
Chapter 14
Sunday, it's raining, i love the rain, Kiseki and me are going with Dr. Tourette, after going to the church, as every Sunday, sermons have being about forgivnes compassion and love towards yourself. I'm exiting the church, as always mom and dad ahead and all 5 of us in a line from the oldest to the youngest. I quit wearing black, it made me look really pale and Wally wouldn't like it.
-Ikari - dad said, he calls us all by our second name.
-Yes otochan? - I said stepping forward
-You know that you are acting against your ancestors - he said signaling me to go inside his car, it wasn't a question, it was a statement - you should ask for forgiveness, they will be waiting for you, you should head there without detour after you get off the shrink.
-Yes otochan- I said simply
-After you pray, you'll meet me at my office, I expect you there by two o'clock, and leave that dog outside
-Yes otochan - I can't say nothing more unless he tells me so.
-Ikari- dad said again, I was gazing to the moving city I sighed and turned to him
-Yes otochan? - I know this will be a long day
-The Sanban are a strong family, we must not let weaknesses affect us that much, there is no place for a weakness in the Sanban troops.
-Yes otochan. - I said, in a blink we were in front of the Dr. Tourette's office.
He left then, I know I'll have a hard day, I also know that otochan understands this weakening feeling I have, but he wants me to overcome that and start with my duties as a Sanban.
-Ikari - dad said, he calls us all by our second name.
-Yes otochan? - I said stepping forward
-You know that you are acting against your ancestors - he said signaling me to go inside his car, it wasn't a question, it was a statement - you should ask for forgiveness, they will be waiting for you, you should head there without detour after you get off the shrink.
-Yes otochan- I said simply
-After you pray, you'll meet me at my office, I expect you there by two o'clock, and leave that dog outside
-Yes otochan - I can't say nothing more unless he tells me so.
-Ikari- dad said again, I was gazing to the moving city I sighed and turned to him
-Yes otochan? - I know this will be a long day
-The Sanban are a strong family, we must not let weaknesses affect us that much, there is no place for a weakness in the Sanban troops.
-Yes otochan. - I said, in a blink we were in front of the Dr. Tourette's office.
He left then, I know I'll have a hard day, I also know that otochan understands this weakening feeling I have, but he wants me to overcome that and start with my duties as a Sanban.
Chapter 13
It has been 2 weeks since valentines, and well Wally's dad disappeared he just, I didn't even knew him that much, but I guess it was a hard blow and all, specially with Wally's B-day, March 3rd, Wally died on January 13th, and was buried Jan 14th. I'll be spending the rest of today here at his grave, I brought him a white rose as always, there have been now 15 roses now, I'll bring him 6 more. and our bouquet will be done, I have gone silent again, and I had once more been lonely, Abby and Nigel had been quite supportive, Hoagie is also supportive, but for some reason he has drifted apart, I'll go tomorrow to Mrs, Sanban, I really want to know what was that about not dieing yet.
Ace is here at the graveyard with me... he is making me believe, I'm worthless, I hate him so much, I didn't knew Wally would be attacked by some weirdo that night.
I ran back home, I can't take it any more, I feel so sad! I can just cry out my eyes, and I really need to see Wally again, I took a meat knife on my way to my bathroom, I open the hot water an sit inside the bathtub, I’m shaking, I press the blade against my wrist, today is Wally's b-day, and he had been dead one month and 3 weeks.
The cold blade is cutting through my skin; I can feel every single muscle, every single fiber of my skin breaking apart. I am sitting on my bathtub, fully dressed; I'm wearing his favorite outfit, some black jeans and a polo type dark green shirt, my sneakers, my hair is done in that messy bun I used to wear at high-school.
I have a photo album in my lap, it’s open at a picture of me and Wally, the day he finally asked me out I was wearing exactly the same; the notebook the shrink gave me is there to, open on that last entry, my entry, there is just one thought on my head right now. As Juliet killed herself with a blade, after Romeo, I will kill myself to follow my dear Wally to the other world.
-Life's a bitch, then you die, and it's over. I'll skip the bitch and proceed immediately. - I said as I close my eyes and think of Wally; I try to ease the pain on my wrist; I know I’ll die. The pain is so strong I start crying, the tears are steaming my face as they go down, I suddenly feel no more pain, I open my eyes and I see him there by my side.
I faint once more, and when I woke I just see my mother's disaproving face, and my brother's concern face, Mushi is smiling, and father is at his cel, taalking japaneese.
I faint again, and after a week or so in observation, I'm back home. Then the shrink stuff we all know, about checking my mental stability, and my phsyque, Dr. Tourette is quite weird, I like her, she is a good friend, and she doesn't tell me what to do, just listens to me.
In April My friends, Abby and Rachel, gave me a dog, an apple head chihuahua, like the one Elle has, in Legaly Blond ... It's been One year, One month, Two weeks, and Three days since Wally died, the first year I tried to kill my-self once, about a month after Wally´s death, near his b-day, and last month, I attemped it again just by his b-day once more, still alive, still depressed, my friends thought that maybe what I needed was someone to love, and as I like cute small things, they thought maybe this chihuahua was the best thing I could use, April the 1st, April's fool, Wallys fav day, and my personal hell, when he was alive, anyways, since I got this dog, I began sleeping, and resting, I gain 2 pounds, wich is good, since Id lost about 6 or 7, so I named him Kiseki, which is japanese for Miracle.
I'm sitting on my bed, with Kiseki by my side, he is licking my scars, two thin scars in each wrist, they are done the right way, you know? not side to side, but along the veins ... I think Wally won't let me die that easily, I wonder where his family went, they just evaporated, as if hey never existed, I'm visiting Wally today, I'm taking Kiseki with me, he follows me everywhere.
-Wally? - I say as I sit by his Grave - Loo who came!, he is Kiseki, we could consider him as our son right?, He reminds me so much of you
-Kuki? What are you doing here? - Dr. Tourette said
-Oh, Dr. Tourette. I came to see Wally, see? there he is, he is so good looking, he seems brighter today, he has a special glow in his face, that makes me feel quite good - I replied
-I see, and who is this son you were talking about?
-This - I said picking Kiseki up - is Wally's and me's baby, his name is Kiseki
-Oh I see - she said with that doctor look in her face, the one she's given me every day I visit her since Wally's death and my suicide attempt
-Stop doing that- I said
-Doing what? - she said simply
-The examining critizisng analizing my words thin you always do
- Oh, I'm not doing that, I know you are still sad, and you use Kiseki to ease your pain, that's good, you are trying to move forward
-No I'm not, I want to stick by Wally I love him and he was is, and always will be the one I love, even after death, I'll join him someday, and we'll live together after death - I said forgetting who she was, she would send me to that hospital I was threatened about, you know, the one with happy pills, and white puffy walls, where you are only allowed to use a shirt and shorts
-Ok Kuki calm down, I'll see you tomorrow, wear something comfy
-Ok ..
Yikes! I knew it!! she is going to drug me again, and Kiseki had to see that, of course he was growling and barking at her, but he behaved nicely, after she went away, Kiseki ran back to Wally and began licking the air. Or so it seem, Wally was here I knew it.
I felt arms twisting around my waist and a pressure on my back, I hugged his arms and began humming a lullaby, we all sat down by the tree nerby, and just enjoyed the nice quiet, silence that grew on the graveyard.
-You be nice, quit the jokes, and stop that death thing, I won't be able to save you one of this days, please, I don't want you to die.
-but Wally I need to be with you in flesh
-No but's Kuki, you have to take care of our son, of Kiseki, he has your fiery spirit
-Wally I need you
-just be patient Kuki
-come on Kiseki, we need to go now, see you later Wally
After we left the graveyard I met Ryoichi, I haven't seen him since he got married, not his fault really.
-Hey Ikari, how is it going? - he asked, he is alone, so I guess he was looking for me again
-Yukio, I'm just fine thank's and don't use my second name, you know I don't like it
-Hahaha, yeah I know, we only use those names when Dad's around, and at the church, speaking of which, - he said joining me on my way back to the small department, I moved out of my parents again, I was being suffocated. - Will you go to the memorial for all te kids that had been dieing after Wallabee?
-I ... I don't know, it makes me depressed - I said picking Kiseki up - but, you know mom, we can't miss any sermon
-Yeah I guess, mom has a great influence over you
-It's not that Ryoichi, it's just that Genki, has always made us go, and if I miss a sermon I feel weird, like if I were missing something
-Oh, I guess you're right, so I'll see you there?
-Yes Ryoichi, I'll see you there - I said entering the building, I love my eldest brother he always was my favourite, but i can't tell him my intencions for Sunday.
Ace is here at the graveyard with me... he is making me believe, I'm worthless, I hate him so much, I didn't knew Wally would be attacked by some weirdo that night.
I ran back home, I can't take it any more, I feel so sad! I can just cry out my eyes, and I really need to see Wally again, I took a meat knife on my way to my bathroom, I open the hot water an sit inside the bathtub, I’m shaking, I press the blade against my wrist, today is Wally's b-day, and he had been dead one month and 3 weeks.
The cold blade is cutting through my skin; I can feel every single muscle, every single fiber of my skin breaking apart. I am sitting on my bathtub, fully dressed; I'm wearing his favorite outfit, some black jeans and a polo type dark green shirt, my sneakers, my hair is done in that messy bun I used to wear at high-school.
I have a photo album in my lap, it’s open at a picture of me and Wally, the day he finally asked me out I was wearing exactly the same; the notebook the shrink gave me is there to, open on that last entry, my entry, there is just one thought on my head right now. As Juliet killed herself with a blade, after Romeo, I will kill myself to follow my dear Wally to the other world.
-Life's a bitch, then you die, and it's over. I'll skip the bitch and proceed immediately. - I said as I close my eyes and think of Wally; I try to ease the pain on my wrist; I know I’ll die. The pain is so strong I start crying, the tears are steaming my face as they go down, I suddenly feel no more pain, I open my eyes and I see him there by my side.
I faint once more, and when I woke I just see my mother's disaproving face, and my brother's concern face, Mushi is smiling, and father is at his cel, taalking japaneese.
I faint again, and after a week or so in observation, I'm back home. Then the shrink stuff we all know, about checking my mental stability, and my phsyque, Dr. Tourette is quite weird, I like her, she is a good friend, and she doesn't tell me what to do, just listens to me.
In April My friends, Abby and Rachel, gave me a dog, an apple head chihuahua, like the one Elle has, in Legaly Blond ... It's been One year, One month, Two weeks, and Three days since Wally died, the first year I tried to kill my-self once, about a month after Wally´s death, near his b-day, and last month, I attemped it again just by his b-day once more, still alive, still depressed, my friends thought that maybe what I needed was someone to love, and as I like cute small things, they thought maybe this chihuahua was the best thing I could use, April the 1st, April's fool, Wallys fav day, and my personal hell, when he was alive, anyways, since I got this dog, I began sleeping, and resting, I gain 2 pounds, wich is good, since Id lost about 6 or 7, so I named him Kiseki, which is japanese for Miracle.
I'm sitting on my bed, with Kiseki by my side, he is licking my scars, two thin scars in each wrist, they are done the right way, you know? not side to side, but along the veins ... I think Wally won't let me die that easily, I wonder where his family went, they just evaporated, as if hey never existed, I'm visiting Wally today, I'm taking Kiseki with me, he follows me everywhere.
-Wally? - I say as I sit by his Grave - Loo who came!, he is Kiseki, we could consider him as our son right?, He reminds me so much of you
-Kuki? What are you doing here? - Dr. Tourette said
-Oh, Dr. Tourette. I came to see Wally, see? there he is, he is so good looking, he seems brighter today, he has a special glow in his face, that makes me feel quite good - I replied
-I see, and who is this son you were talking about?
-This - I said picking Kiseki up - is Wally's and me's baby, his name is Kiseki
-Oh I see - she said with that doctor look in her face, the one she's given me every day I visit her since Wally's death and my suicide attempt
-Stop doing that- I said
-Doing what? - she said simply
-The examining critizisng analizing my words thin you always do
- Oh, I'm not doing that, I know you are still sad, and you use Kiseki to ease your pain, that's good, you are trying to move forward
-No I'm not, I want to stick by Wally I love him and he was is, and always will be the one I love, even after death, I'll join him someday, and we'll live together after death - I said forgetting who she was, she would send me to that hospital I was threatened about, you know, the one with happy pills, and white puffy walls, where you are only allowed to use a shirt and shorts
-Ok Kuki calm down, I'll see you tomorrow, wear something comfy
-Ok ..
Yikes! I knew it!! she is going to drug me again, and Kiseki had to see that, of course he was growling and barking at her, but he behaved nicely, after she went away, Kiseki ran back to Wally and began licking the air. Or so it seem, Wally was here I knew it.
I felt arms twisting around my waist and a pressure on my back, I hugged his arms and began humming a lullaby, we all sat down by the tree nerby, and just enjoyed the nice quiet, silence that grew on the graveyard.
-You be nice, quit the jokes, and stop that death thing, I won't be able to save you one of this days, please, I don't want you to die.
-but Wally I need to be with you in flesh
-No but's Kuki, you have to take care of our son, of Kiseki, he has your fiery spirit
-Wally I need you
-just be patient Kuki
-come on Kiseki, we need to go now, see you later Wally
After we left the graveyard I met Ryoichi, I haven't seen him since he got married, not his fault really.
-Hey Ikari, how is it going? - he asked, he is alone, so I guess he was looking for me again
-Yukio, I'm just fine thank's and don't use my second name, you know I don't like it
-Hahaha, yeah I know, we only use those names when Dad's around, and at the church, speaking of which, - he said joining me on my way back to the small department, I moved out of my parents again, I was being suffocated. - Will you go to the memorial for all te kids that had been dieing after Wallabee?
-I ... I don't know, it makes me depressed - I said picking Kiseki up - but, you know mom, we can't miss any sermon
-Yeah I guess, mom has a great influence over you
-It's not that Ryoichi, it's just that Genki, has always made us go, and if I miss a sermon I feel weird, like if I were missing something
-Oh, I guess you're right, so I'll see you there?
-Yes Ryoichi, I'll see you there - I said entering the building, I love my eldest brother he always was my favourite, but i can't tell him my intencions for Sunday.
Chapter 12
February, finally Kuki has been leaving her room not only to get to the graveyard, nor to see Dr. Tourette, i bet that shrink will make her kill herself soon enough, today, November 3rd, I, am rereading the last activities at the Sanban household
You see, February was a hard month for the Sanbans, specially of course Kuki, I ruined her life, she deserved it, she ruined mine. But I can't tell you more about that, you know in case the cops are around, tey don't even know Wally is death, it would be a scandal for the Sanban's. Let's start from the younguest of th Sanban.
Mushi, she ran from home right the 15th of January, yup I see Kuki forgot to tell you that, Oh you shouldn't wonder I know about the diary, and I know about Dr. Tourette, Why is that? simple, I am the one that follows her, I' Kuki's shadow, but she doesn't even realizes that, she doesn't know who to trust anymore.
Back to the point, Mushi, the youngster of the Sanban is now 17-year-old, she ran away with Sandy King, stupid name for a boy huh? Well his actual name is Alexander, Sandy for short, he is 18, and had been dating Mushy ever since they were 7 and 8 respectively. Alexander, Sandy means Defender of Men, and he is accomplishing the meaning of his name by defending and protecting Mushi Takako Sanban, they both went away that day, right after Ryoichi's Birthday, and Wallabee's funeral, they left because of the anger that was raising inside Kuki, who usually charged all her rage in Mushi, at least that happened until Kuki started hanginh out with Wallabee every day, then Kuki will rage only against Wallabee, but now that Wallabee wasn't here, she would boil her baby sisters little body. They didn't return until early April, just for your information.
Then we have Kuki, Kuki Ikari Sanban, the eldest girl of the Sanban, she had been mourning all aver, still had been wearing black and stuff, still thinking about suicide; she had had so much troubles, her mind had been a mess, and her dear little finger is still wearing that huge diamond Wallabee bought for her, on their proposing night, all had been taken care of, Wally would walk with Kuki by the same street, and by the same alley they always hid in, he would hid forever more, dieing simply because of a pole. She still was in her non talkative stage, denial, had been the first weeks, then when she started visiting the graveyard, she would be in the yearning phase, she would remember and sit remembering, everything about him, his golden locks, his emerald eyes, his sexy voice, his muscular body, his everything, lustfully, lovingly, and desperately, trying to bring back to this world, those things, that had died with him.
Then we have the youngest brother Takeshi Kyoshi, this guy is quite interesting, you see, it seems that Wallabees death brought a moment of peace and relief to the Sanban family, Takeshi, the slothy one, had never done anything by himself, but then after his death, Takeshi started his own branch at the Sanban Army, yes, Takeshi the one who would do nothing more than scratch his belly to whom his married his girlfriend would do almost everything, and now you see him, as one of the most powerful men on the Sanban troops, CEO of Sanban Hotels, which in a matter of months went up to worldwide, his job, the one for the slothy, done by sloth, but with great brilliantness, and economic power, are without doubt, one of the best Hotels, Motels, etcetera in the world.
Jiro Ringo, he is quite a guy. gluttony is his sin, however, he had succeded with yet another branch of the Sanbans, he hadbeen working for the past 6 months, in his enterprice, being CEO of the newest restaurant, obiousli Sanban Palace, japaneese food, married to one of the best chefs ever, Kokoa Natsuki Toyshiba, he as his brothers, had succeded marrying a girl with a powerful family back in japan, er name means Love, and Veggies, she is 23, grey eyes, blond, 5'6".
Ryoichi, the lustful one, he seems to be retaking the heavens path, he had dumped his harem, and had gotten a serious girl, Yusuki Mei Suzuki, dauther of the Suzuki, motocross team CEO, good looking to, 26 and looks like Ryoichi. Ryoichi has the destin to follow his father's steps, he will take over the Sanban buisness.
That's all about the Sanban cubs, Genki, she had returned to her busy agenda, parties all round the world, creating conections , convinceing the CEO wifes to convince the CEO of big companies to merge with Sanban Enterprices.
Mr. Sanban, Ryo, he had never quited his office time, time equals money and he has no time to lose.
Kevin and Javier had lost contact with Kuki, and Kuki's friend have become really supportive, wonder why.
February 14
I must say this is the worst Valentine's ever, it's the 1st Valentine that I'll spend without Wally, I won't have to pray for him to give me my Valentine's, nor for he to ask me out, or notice me. This is my 1st Valentinne's at the graveyard, staring at his grave, one month it has been now, and it has been awful, I can't stand it, we had this Valentine's planned out already.
I would go to his place, and I would cook for him, he loved how I cook, he had been teaching me how to cook properly, and I would surprise him with his favourite meal, Smashed potatoes and Maryland's Chicken, with some Rice ... it's quite simple, I know, but e loved it, he said once that his mom made that for him when he was a kid, and that he haven't eat that since his parent's divorce.
I'm taking this meal for him today to the graveyard, I'll visit his mom afterwards, I think I should see how she is doing, I can't imagine how much it hurts to lose a son, I can't hold my heaart and he was my fiance, besides I think Wally would love to visit his mom.
-Rose- I said softly
-Yes miss?
-Please find out where Mrs. Beatless lives.
-Yes Miss
-And Rose
-Yes?
-Make it quick
Soon after I came back from the graveyard, it didn't take long I just told Wally I'll go visit his mom, left some flowers and came back; Rose gave me the precise address to Wally's mom house, which I told my driver, who brought me here... to the front door of the woman I fear the most. It's a small house, near Gallagher Elementary, it's a nice and quiet neighbourhood, I'm terrified but knock the door. Surprisingly a young version of Wally opens up.
-Yeah?
-Hi, I'm Kuki Ikari Sanban, is Mrs Beatless home?
-Yeah come on in, have a seat - he says monotonely
This is a two story house, big enough for 2, I sat down on a jade green couch and began playing with my thumbs as I wait for Mrs. Beatles
-Yes? - Ayoug woman says, Mrs. Beatles I guess
-Mrs, Beatless?, Hi, I'm -
-Miss Sanban, I know - she cuts me off - What do I owe the pleasure?
-Well -
-Does my ex-husband, owes you that much money that Lord Sanban decided to send his baby princess? -She cuts me off again
-Uhm ... no -
-Has my son Wallabe, been harassing you?-
-Well no, he -
-Oh he hurt your boyfriend and you want me to go and talk to him
At the sy of his name, and all this I began crying uncontrolably, it seems like i have some tears left to shred -No - I say sobbiing Mrs. Beatless seems surprised by this and sit's down trying to confortme
-What brings you here then Miss Sanban?
-I'm Wally's
-Fiancé? - I hate that she keeps cutting me off
-Yes how did you -
-Your ring, I helped him pick it up, I knew he had a girlfriend, I never imagined it would be princess Sanban
-Why?
-He never seemed to be the boy a rich and spoiled girl would pick, he had that revelious attitude I never liked
-I like that revelous attitude of him.
-Where is he? Oh don't tell me, he sent you here to give me my invitation to your wedding!
-well .. he .. - my eyes began watering again - Mrs Beatless, he promise me we would come today, valentine's
-Oh that's nice of him ... where is he?
-Hasn't Mr. Beatless told you?
-Tell me what?
-Oh ... I guess I'm ... not the right person to tell you, but ... Wally, he ...
-Is he ok?
-No, he ... I ... -this is harder than i thought it would be -
-What happened to my baby? - she said finally understanding
-I'm a widow... and I didn't even got to marry him - I sayin a whisper beginign to cry, but Mrs. Beatles is saying nothing, I turn to see her I bet she is in shock now ... but as I see her face, I face something completly different, she is smiling.
-How did he die?
-He well.. we were walking back home, and we got mugged and he fought and then the pole, and well he bleed out ...
-OMG! that's terrible!! And you poor creature wittness that!! When's the burial?
-It .. was last month exactly...
-Oh. I see, did Mr. Beatless go?
-Yes ... he went, but he was smiling, just like you- I said
-Wally died?- Joey said - he promised he wouldn't die yet ..
-What do you mean Joey?
-Oh dear lord look at the time, Kuki, please come visit any time, Joey and I have some errands to do.
She took me outside and went back inside, but I left asking no qustions, yet i wonder why they didn't cry.
You see, February was a hard month for the Sanbans, specially of course Kuki, I ruined her life, she deserved it, she ruined mine. But I can't tell you more about that, you know in case the cops are around, tey don't even know Wally is death, it would be a scandal for the Sanban's. Let's start from the younguest of th Sanban.
Mushi, she ran from home right the 15th of January, yup I see Kuki forgot to tell you that, Oh you shouldn't wonder I know about the diary, and I know about Dr. Tourette, Why is that? simple, I am the one that follows her, I' Kuki's shadow, but she doesn't even realizes that, she doesn't know who to trust anymore.
Back to the point, Mushi, the youngster of the Sanban is now 17-year-old, she ran away with Sandy King, stupid name for a boy huh? Well his actual name is Alexander, Sandy for short, he is 18, and had been dating Mushy ever since they were 7 and 8 respectively. Alexander, Sandy means Defender of Men, and he is accomplishing the meaning of his name by defending and protecting Mushi Takako Sanban, they both went away that day, right after Ryoichi's Birthday, and Wallabee's funeral, they left because of the anger that was raising inside Kuki, who usually charged all her rage in Mushi, at least that happened until Kuki started hanginh out with Wallabee every day, then Kuki will rage only against Wallabee, but now that Wallabee wasn't here, she would boil her baby sisters little body. They didn't return until early April, just for your information.
Then we have Kuki, Kuki Ikari Sanban, the eldest girl of the Sanban, she had been mourning all aver, still had been wearing black and stuff, still thinking about suicide; she had had so much troubles, her mind had been a mess, and her dear little finger is still wearing that huge diamond Wallabee bought for her, on their proposing night, all had been taken care of, Wally would walk with Kuki by the same street, and by the same alley they always hid in, he would hid forever more, dieing simply because of a pole. She still was in her non talkative stage, denial, had been the first weeks, then when she started visiting the graveyard, she would be in the yearning phase, she would remember and sit remembering, everything about him, his golden locks, his emerald eyes, his sexy voice, his muscular body, his everything, lustfully, lovingly, and desperately, trying to bring back to this world, those things, that had died with him.
Then we have the youngest brother Takeshi Kyoshi, this guy is quite interesting, you see, it seems that Wallabees death brought a moment of peace and relief to the Sanban family, Takeshi, the slothy one, had never done anything by himself, but then after his death, Takeshi started his own branch at the Sanban Army, yes, Takeshi the one who would do nothing more than scratch his belly to whom his married his girlfriend would do almost everything, and now you see him, as one of the most powerful men on the Sanban troops, CEO of Sanban Hotels, which in a matter of months went up to worldwide, his job, the one for the slothy, done by sloth, but with great brilliantness, and economic power, are without doubt, one of the best Hotels, Motels, etcetera in the world.
Jiro Ringo, he is quite a guy. gluttony is his sin, however, he had succeded with yet another branch of the Sanbans, he hadbeen working for the past 6 months, in his enterprice, being CEO of the newest restaurant, obiousli Sanban Palace, japaneese food, married to one of the best chefs ever, Kokoa Natsuki Toyshiba, he as his brothers, had succeded marrying a girl with a powerful family back in japan, er name means Love, and Veggies, she is 23, grey eyes, blond, 5'6".
Ryoichi, the lustful one, he seems to be retaking the heavens path, he had dumped his harem, and had gotten a serious girl, Yusuki Mei Suzuki, dauther of the Suzuki, motocross team CEO, good looking to, 26 and looks like Ryoichi. Ryoichi has the destin to follow his father's steps, he will take over the Sanban buisness.
That's all about the Sanban cubs, Genki, she had returned to her busy agenda, parties all round the world, creating conections , convinceing the CEO wifes to convince the CEO of big companies to merge with Sanban Enterprices.
Mr. Sanban, Ryo, he had never quited his office time, time equals money and he has no time to lose.
Kevin and Javier had lost contact with Kuki, and Kuki's friend have become really supportive, wonder why.
February 14
Dear Diary:
Ace had been the most supportive, always talking about death in weird ways, as if death was a relief for soul, and that i have been mourning over Wally, 'cause i left something ... unsolved, of course we left something unsolved... we were going to get married. Acehas also being talking of wys of bringing him back, or to ease the pain on my soul, and let our souls, Wally's and mine, be together in heaven, he says the game known as "the red book" is a way to talk to him, and to know wether he is on hevean or in hell, I think it's a bit risky, after all I had already played that game, with Abby Fanny and Reachel, the week after I started going out and see the grayish worl, the 3rd week with out my love ... last week.
I must say this is the worst Valentine's ever, it's the 1st Valentine that I'll spend without Wally, I won't have to pray for him to give me my Valentine's, nor for he to ask me out, or notice me. This is my 1st Valentinne's at the graveyard, staring at his grave, one month it has been now, and it has been awful, I can't stand it, we had this Valentine's planned out already.
I would go to his place, and I would cook for him, he loved how I cook, he had been teaching me how to cook properly, and I would surprise him with his favourite meal, Smashed potatoes and Maryland's Chicken, with some Rice ... it's quite simple, I know, but e loved it, he said once that his mom made that for him when he was a kid, and that he haven't eat that since his parent's divorce.
I'm taking this meal for him today to the graveyard, I'll visit his mom afterwards, I think I should see how she is doing, I can't imagine how much it hurts to lose a son, I can't hold my heaart and he was my fiance, besides I think Wally would love to visit his mom.
-Rose- I said softly
-Yes miss?
-Please find out where Mrs. Beatless lives.
-Yes Miss
-And Rose
-Yes?
-Make it quick
Soon after I came back from the graveyard, it didn't take long I just told Wally I'll go visit his mom, left some flowers and came back; Rose gave me the precise address to Wally's mom house, which I told my driver, who brought me here... to the front door of the woman I fear the most. It's a small house, near Gallagher Elementary, it's a nice and quiet neighbourhood, I'm terrified but knock the door. Surprisingly a young version of Wally opens up.
-Yeah?
-Hi, I'm Kuki Ikari Sanban, is Mrs Beatless home?
-Yeah come on in, have a seat - he says monotonely
This is a two story house, big enough for 2, I sat down on a jade green couch and began playing with my thumbs as I wait for Mrs. Beatles
-Yes? - Ayoug woman says, Mrs. Beatles I guess
-Mrs, Beatless?, Hi, I'm -
-Miss Sanban, I know - she cuts me off - What do I owe the pleasure?
-Well -
-Does my ex-husband, owes you that much money that Lord Sanban decided to send his baby princess? -She cuts me off again
-Uhm ... no -
-Has my son Wallabe, been harassing you?-
-Well no, he -
-Oh he hurt your boyfriend and you want me to go and talk to him
At the sy of his name, and all this I began crying uncontrolably, it seems like i have some tears left to shred -No - I say sobbiing Mrs. Beatless seems surprised by this and sit's down trying to confortme
-What brings you here then Miss Sanban?
-I'm Wally's
-Fiancé? - I hate that she keeps cutting me off
-Yes how did you -
-Your ring, I helped him pick it up, I knew he had a girlfriend, I never imagined it would be princess Sanban
-Why?
-He never seemed to be the boy a rich and spoiled girl would pick, he had that revelious attitude I never liked
-I like that revelous attitude of him.
-Where is he? Oh don't tell me, he sent you here to give me my invitation to your wedding!
-well .. he .. - my eyes began watering again - Mrs Beatless, he promise me we would come today, valentine's
-Oh that's nice of him ... where is he?
-Hasn't Mr. Beatless told you?
-Tell me what?
-Oh ... I guess I'm ... not the right person to tell you, but ... Wally, he ...
-Is he ok?
-No, he ... I ... -this is harder than i thought it would be -
-What happened to my baby? - she said finally understanding
-I'm a widow... and I didn't even got to marry him - I sayin a whisper beginign to cry, but Mrs. Beatles is saying nothing, I turn to see her I bet she is in shock now ... but as I see her face, I face something completly different, she is smiling.
-How did he die?
-He well.. we were walking back home, and we got mugged and he fought and then the pole, and well he bleed out ...
-OMG! that's terrible!! And you poor creature wittness that!! When's the burial?
-It .. was last month exactly...
-Oh. I see, did Mr. Beatless go?
-Yes ... he went, but he was smiling, just like you- I said
-Wally died?- Joey said - he promised he wouldn't die yet ..
-What do you mean Joey?
-Oh dear lord look at the time, Kuki, please come visit any time, Joey and I have some errands to do.
She took me outside and went back inside, but I left asking no qustions, yet i wonder why they didn't cry.
Chapter 11
January, the month he faded away the month all my dreams crashed away, this is what happened in that awful month.
Dear Diary:
I can't beilive I'm talking with Dr. Tourette, 9 months after that awful night, well Dr. Tourette asked me to write everything I can remember for this past 9 months, geez, I can't believe I'm actually having homework from that nutcracker shrink of mine, she, how ever, is a good person, 28 years old, she isn't talkative like may other shrinks.
Ok this task consisted on witting everything since new year's 'till yesterday, dia de muertos, she says that that way I might be able to remember, who killed my dear Wally, or maybe, I'll remember that it was actually an accident, any how, I will write everything I can remember down here, this book will be written by me and read by Dr. Tourette, Faith, ok let's begin.
January the 1st
Wally and me had been at a party at Kevin's, Kevin is a tall brunet guy, he is 6'2", gray eyes, dark brown hair, strong features, he has been Wally's best friend since ever, well since 2nd, that he and I stopped talking that frequently; Kevin is a hunk, and a heart-trob, of course not as much as my dear prince on shinning armor Wally, anyway, Kevin and Javier, Javier is Wally's other friend, he is 5'6, blue eyes, light brown hair, pretty much like Hoagie, with the only difference that he, Javier is skinny but muscular, and Hoagie is just skinny, as I was saying, well back to the pint, Kevin and Javier had both had a crush on me like forever, of course they will always deny it, Kevin got a girlfriend that looks tons like me, just with green eyes and she isn't Japaneese, Javier is still single and had always been chasing after me.
Wally and I had spent New Year's at Kevin's, I was slightly drunk, and Wally was woooo drunk as if there was no tomorrow, which, thinking today, was his last drunk day on Earth, well anyways, we woke up tangled in the middle of the kitchen's table, half nude.
For what I can remember we, well I fall asleep as we were playing and seducing each other, and I fall asleep, out of drunkenness, he must have fallen asleep right after. We awoke and dressed quickly since I heard voices coming towards the kitchen, and woke Wally, it was Kevin, he gave us no time to get off the table.
-Oh dude, I'm sorry, please enjoy yourselves - Kevin said and he left the room grinning widely, outside you could hear Javier and Kevin talkin
-Hey Kevin, I wanna eat, why did you left the kitchen?
-Well Jav, have you seen Wally or Kuki around?
-Well ... no ... but what does that has to do with ... oh
As they were talking we finished making ourselves presentable and left Kevin's, in a hurry, not even bothering to take breakfast, just said a quick by and left, I heard Kevin yell something like "the hotel will not let you use the hotel room until 2 o'clock... find something to do in the meantime". We just kept walking down the street.
January 5th
After embarassing my self in front of Kevin and Javier, Wally and me kept avoiding 'em, we crashed against 'em and Javier whispered something to Wally.
-Everything is in order now
Wally just nod and kept walking with me by his side, hugging me closely. He suddenly asked me if I would go on a date with him the next weekend, Saturday was always our day, I agreed, and he asked me to pick something semi-formal, and that he'll pick me up by 5 o'clock.
I still wonder what did he meant, I would ask Wally, but ... well let's say I don't want to hear his response anymore.
January 13th
Well we all remember this day, the unforgettable day, the darkest day of my life, the day that would darken my life for ever, I remember clearly, it was a beautiful January cold day, well as cold as it can get here in Beverly Hills, he had asked me out to dinner on January 5th (I hate trying to remember everything we did as last things done)
He picked me up at 5 o’clock sharp, he took me to a small coffee, semi formal, it’s a small place the Aloha island coffee. I love it there, the view, the food, and the environment. After that he took me to the sea. It was like a dream come true, as if he was trying to accomplish my only dream, to be asked by the seashore. The sunset began and I was looking at the sun hiding in the sea, being swallowed by it's eternal lover, the sea, I saw he kneeled by my side and took my hands in his, I knew what we was doing, he was making my dream come true, "Will you Kuki Ikari Sanban, marry me?" he said opening a small velvet box, I was speechless, I pinched my self, and began to cry happy tears, I said "I do" softly, he stood up and pulled me into a kiss, deep, and loving, it was pouring, I love that, that rain without clouds, with the sun shinning brightly. We began walking back home ... talking about our wedding, I know i should have called my car, but I didn't, we were walking a block from his home, where we would climb to his car, and he'll drive me back home, as always.
Then in that block where the comic book store is, in that small alley formed in between the candy store and the comic book store, just in front of the bank, there he died, that figure who appeared out of nothing had a knife and stabbed Wally, on the side, then he with, a pole, hit his head several times, I swear it was on the hand of a mugger, who didn't mug us, so he could be a killer, anyways, his target was Wally, he didn't even touch me, I am not even certain it was a male, I just remember his/hers red eyes.
I saw Wally being attack and protecting me fall to the ground, I just started to cry, and he turned to see me, and dry my tears, he had his skull broken, and blood was coming out of that wound, his side never bleed, just his skull, I called an ambulance, and Wally said "I love you Kuki, don’t cry, everything will be fine." Then he fainted, and the medics gave me the worst of the news, before even taking him into the ambulance, there was nothing to be done, he had died, I cried so much that night, my dreams had been crushed. I went to his father's and told him about what had happened, and by the next day his funeral was ready, it would be on the afternoon, and he would wear the tux, I had picked out for him, I bought it and made the ... man who dresses the dead... to put it on, and the white roses we both licked so much.
January 14th
His funeral the saddest day on earth. His dad was smiling as if he never had a son, weird, but I think I understand that he was evading the truth now. Mom and Dad, will always talk bad about him, so does Nigel, Hoagie, Abby, Fanny, and Rachel. And Kevin and Javier went to his funeral, carrying, flowers for him and for me, both bouquets, were of Carnations, Forget me not's, and Sweetpeas. because of their meaning I guess, anyway those bouquets were forgotten in his grave. As made my way home, I could hear the wind call my name, and his. That same day I decided I would lock up in my room, just to think about my dear Wally.
January 21st
I'm visiting my dear Wally from his day every day
January 26th
My first suicide attempt. I won't say any more
January 29th
I visit for the first time Dr. Tourette
Well that's all that happened in January, all that I can remember, plus what I've already being writing in my diary, which Dr, Tourette has already read, I have no idea why she wants me to rewrite all this, anyways that's it.
I must say, I can't remember much of that day, January 13th, a date I will never forget, and a date I won't remember after the pretty moments I share with Wally.
Dear Diary:
I can't beilive I'm talking with Dr. Tourette, 9 months after that awful night, well Dr. Tourette asked me to write everything I can remember for this past 9 months, geez, I can't believe I'm actually having homework from that nutcracker shrink of mine, she, how ever, is a good person, 28 years old, she isn't talkative like may other shrinks.
Ok this task consisted on witting everything since new year's 'till yesterday, dia de muertos, she says that that way I might be able to remember, who killed my dear Wally, or maybe, I'll remember that it was actually an accident, any how, I will write everything I can remember down here, this book will be written by me and read by Dr. Tourette, Faith, ok let's begin.
January the 1st
Wally and me had been at a party at Kevin's, Kevin is a tall brunet guy, he is 6'2", gray eyes, dark brown hair, strong features, he has been Wally's best friend since ever, well since 2nd, that he and I stopped talking that frequently; Kevin is a hunk, and a heart-trob, of course not as much as my dear prince on shinning armor Wally, anyway, Kevin and Javier, Javier is Wally's other friend, he is 5'6, blue eyes, light brown hair, pretty much like Hoagie, with the only difference that he, Javier is skinny but muscular, and Hoagie is just skinny, as I was saying, well back to the pint, Kevin and Javier had both had a crush on me like forever, of course they will always deny it, Kevin got a girlfriend that looks tons like me, just with green eyes and she isn't Japaneese, Javier is still single and had always been chasing after me.
Wally and I had spent New Year's at Kevin's, I was slightly drunk, and Wally was woooo drunk as if there was no tomorrow, which, thinking today, was his last drunk day on Earth, well anyways, we woke up tangled in the middle of the kitchen's table, half nude.
For what I can remember we, well I fall asleep as we were playing and seducing each other, and I fall asleep, out of drunkenness, he must have fallen asleep right after. We awoke and dressed quickly since I heard voices coming towards the kitchen, and woke Wally, it was Kevin, he gave us no time to get off the table.
-Oh dude, I'm sorry, please enjoy yourselves - Kevin said and he left the room grinning widely, outside you could hear Javier and Kevin talkin
-Hey Kevin, I wanna eat, why did you left the kitchen?
-Well Jav, have you seen Wally or Kuki around?
-Well ... no ... but what does that has to do with ... oh
As they were talking we finished making ourselves presentable and left Kevin's, in a hurry, not even bothering to take breakfast, just said a quick by and left, I heard Kevin yell something like "the hotel will not let you use the hotel room until 2 o'clock... find something to do in the meantime". We just kept walking down the street.
January 5th
After embarassing my self in front of Kevin and Javier, Wally and me kept avoiding 'em, we crashed against 'em and Javier whispered something to Wally.
-Everything is in order now
Wally just nod and kept walking with me by his side, hugging me closely. He suddenly asked me if I would go on a date with him the next weekend, Saturday was always our day, I agreed, and he asked me to pick something semi-formal, and that he'll pick me up by 5 o'clock.
I still wonder what did he meant, I would ask Wally, but ... well let's say I don't want to hear his response anymore.
January 13th
Well we all remember this day, the unforgettable day, the darkest day of my life, the day that would darken my life for ever, I remember clearly, it was a beautiful January cold day, well as cold as it can get here in Beverly Hills, he had asked me out to dinner on January 5th (I hate trying to remember everything we did as last things done)
He picked me up at 5 o’clock sharp, he took me to a small coffee, semi formal, it’s a small place the Aloha island coffee. I love it there, the view, the food, and the environment. After that he took me to the sea. It was like a dream come true, as if he was trying to accomplish my only dream, to be asked by the seashore. The sunset began and I was looking at the sun hiding in the sea, being swallowed by it's eternal lover, the sea, I saw he kneeled by my side and took my hands in his, I knew what we was doing, he was making my dream come true, "Will you Kuki Ikari Sanban, marry me?" he said opening a small velvet box, I was speechless, I pinched my self, and began to cry happy tears, I said "I do" softly, he stood up and pulled me into a kiss, deep, and loving, it was pouring, I love that, that rain without clouds, with the sun shinning brightly. We began walking back home ... talking about our wedding, I know i should have called my car, but I didn't, we were walking a block from his home, where we would climb to his car, and he'll drive me back home, as always.
Then in that block where the comic book store is, in that small alley formed in between the candy store and the comic book store, just in front of the bank, there he died, that figure who appeared out of nothing had a knife and stabbed Wally, on the side, then he with, a pole, hit his head several times, I swear it was on the hand of a mugger, who didn't mug us, so he could be a killer, anyways, his target was Wally, he didn't even touch me, I am not even certain it was a male, I just remember his/hers red eyes.
I saw Wally being attack and protecting me fall to the ground, I just started to cry, and he turned to see me, and dry my tears, he had his skull broken, and blood was coming out of that wound, his side never bleed, just his skull, I called an ambulance, and Wally said "I love you Kuki, don’t cry, everything will be fine." Then he fainted, and the medics gave me the worst of the news, before even taking him into the ambulance, there was nothing to be done, he had died, I cried so much that night, my dreams had been crushed. I went to his father's and told him about what had happened, and by the next day his funeral was ready, it would be on the afternoon, and he would wear the tux, I had picked out for him, I bought it and made the ... man who dresses the dead... to put it on, and the white roses we both licked so much.
January 14th
His funeral the saddest day on earth. His dad was smiling as if he never had a son, weird, but I think I understand that he was evading the truth now. Mom and Dad, will always talk bad about him, so does Nigel, Hoagie, Abby, Fanny, and Rachel. And Kevin and Javier went to his funeral, carrying, flowers for him and for me, both bouquets, were of Carnations, Forget me not's, and Sweetpeas. because of their meaning I guess, anyway those bouquets were forgotten in his grave. As made my way home, I could hear the wind call my name, and his. That same day I decided I would lock up in my room, just to think about my dear Wally.
January 21st
I'm visiting my dear Wally from his day every day
January 26th
My first suicide attempt. I won't say any more
January 29th
I visit for the first time Dr. Tourette
Well that's all that happened in January, all that I can remember, plus what I've already being writing in my diary, which Dr, Tourette has already read, I have no idea why she wants me to rewrite all this, anyways that's it.
I must say, I can't remember much of that day, January 13th, a date I will never forget, and a date I won't remember after the pretty moments I share with Wally.
Chapter 10
I am at the lake where Wally and I had made love more than once, I am nude, the sky is dark no stars could be seen, it is a fullmoon night, clouds were circling the moon, the lake water is warm, and it feels oily, I got on top of the rock that is on the middle of the lake, rounded and flat, I laye there looing at the moon, a chilly breeze starts but I don't shiver, I close my eyes, and wish Wally was here with me, I feel soft lips carefully placing kisses from my belly button ou to my breasts, I open my eyes and there he is Wally, my angel, he is also nude, he kisses my shoulder and says - morning my dear angel - I look up at the sky and see that it is infact a beautiful morning the sun is barely rising, Wally places himself on top of me and we keep kissing, I hold him close, hugging his head pulling him closer, his hands begin to explore my body, we begin the ritual we always did by down, our love making.
I fall asleep as soon as it's over I'm now on top, hugging him close, taking his scent, suddenly I shiver, and I feel a watery substance on my skin wake and see my body covered with blood, I'm still nude, Wally is not here, i'ts night time again, cloudless, starless, moonless.
I hear my name, as I wake I'm fully covered of sweat, I'm on my king size bed, wearing my pj's, I stand up and open my window, letting some fresh air into my room, I sit by the window, and watch the starry sky, the bright moon smiling at me, and the clouds that warn a storm is coming, it's 5 on the morning, that nightmare again, I hope this charm works.
After i passed out at Abby's after playing that horrid game things had been happening, first i can clearly see and feel Wally, then those nightmares, and thing have been going like that for a long time now, today is Dia de Muertos, 9 months. I have been taking some anti depressives, Dr. Tourette has been helping me or trying to, I have started to eat again and I do leave the house not only to go to the graveyard, the shrink, and to my friends. My brothers are quite concerned with my current state, I would too, I'm grumpy and snap at everyone who dares to talk to me, Wally was my break, he always made me feel happy, but now that he's gone i can't control my rage.
I dress my self with my dark green hoodie and my black jeans, I pack some books, Mr. Wallikyns and a white rose, my engagement ring is still on my finger, I will never leave it behind. My parents and brothers had been having a close watch of me, the scars of my wrists still aches, it's ben one monh since my suicidal attempt, I was locked up the week after. then we played Red Book, and I fainted, I can't remember what happened.
I'm going to the graveyard, Ace, said tat the dead came back of death and visit us, still death they eat with us, I don't know how much of this is true, still I'll go and have breakfast with Wally.
I lexit the mansion waking Rose, she is my maid, and a good friend too, she has been going with me everywhere and I'm positive she'll keep the secret, of me sneaking into the graveyard by dawn every day and coming back just in time for breakfast.
I sat with Wally, placing Mr. Wallikyns in between us, a candle lit and some burgers he loved, of course I also brought soda and potato chips, that was is favorite meal, I always laugh at him, burger is not meal, but he would eat them anyways, I began talking with him, about everything that has been happening, the candle lit out, meaning he had arrived, I stood there with him two more hours, talking with him, and feeling happy for he first time since his death, I took the food away and placed it on the neares trash can when I left, Ace told me that I should do this, otherwise I'll become sick.
Genki, has restarted going to parties every week, Kin, has been to busy with business to notice anything, a usual, Ryoichi, has broken up with every girl he was dating and asked out this girl, that accepted, curiously, she has been the only one he had not cheated on, and I heard somethng about proposing, I can't imagine my dear Ryoichi married, Jiro, he had gone to France, with his wife, they are on some kind of long vacations, Takeshi started his own business, he and his wife, they married 4 months ago, are taking care of this new Sanban Enterprice, I think that means he will stop being slothy, Mushy and Sandy adn't come back since after Wally's burrial, I had returned to school, my friends and classmates felt sorry for me but now they don't care if I'm lonley.
Nigel, Abby, Hoagie, Rachel, and Fanny had become the supportive friends they once were, Ace is still flirting with me, and I still tell him that my heart belongs to Wally. I might seem happy again, but I'm not yet, my days are still grayish, but I don't let them see any more, Dr Tourette is still my shrink, and we still keep that non chatting mood, I will go make some tests and tasks, play the piano and read some books, and she will still stare at me.
I fall asleep as soon as it's over I'm now on top, hugging him close, taking his scent, suddenly I shiver, and I feel a watery substance on my skin wake and see my body covered with blood, I'm still nude, Wally is not here, i'ts night time again, cloudless, starless, moonless.
I hear my name, as I wake I'm fully covered of sweat, I'm on my king size bed, wearing my pj's, I stand up and open my window, letting some fresh air into my room, I sit by the window, and watch the starry sky, the bright moon smiling at me, and the clouds that warn a storm is coming, it's 5 on the morning, that nightmare again, I hope this charm works.
After i passed out at Abby's after playing that horrid game things had been happening, first i can clearly see and feel Wally, then those nightmares, and thing have been going like that for a long time now, today is Dia de Muertos, 9 months. I have been taking some anti depressives, Dr. Tourette has been helping me or trying to, I have started to eat again and I do leave the house not only to go to the graveyard, the shrink, and to my friends. My brothers are quite concerned with my current state, I would too, I'm grumpy and snap at everyone who dares to talk to me, Wally was my break, he always made me feel happy, but now that he's gone i can't control my rage.
I dress my self with my dark green hoodie and my black jeans, I pack some books, Mr. Wallikyns and a white rose, my engagement ring is still on my finger, I will never leave it behind. My parents and brothers had been having a close watch of me, the scars of my wrists still aches, it's ben one monh since my suicidal attempt, I was locked up the week after. then we played Red Book, and I fainted, I can't remember what happened.
I'm going to the graveyard, Ace, said tat the dead came back of death and visit us, still death they eat with us, I don't know how much of this is true, still I'll go and have breakfast with Wally.
I lexit the mansion waking Rose, she is my maid, and a good friend too, she has been going with me everywhere and I'm positive she'll keep the secret, of me sneaking into the graveyard by dawn every day and coming back just in time for breakfast.
I sat with Wally, placing Mr. Wallikyns in between us, a candle lit and some burgers he loved, of course I also brought soda and potato chips, that was is favorite meal, I always laugh at him, burger is not meal, but he would eat them anyways, I began talking with him, about everything that has been happening, the candle lit out, meaning he had arrived, I stood there with him two more hours, talking with him, and feeling happy for he first time since his death, I took the food away and placed it on the neares trash can when I left, Ace told me that I should do this, otherwise I'll become sick.
Genki, has restarted going to parties every week, Kin, has been to busy with business to notice anything, a usual, Ryoichi, has broken up with every girl he was dating and asked out this girl, that accepted, curiously, she has been the only one he had not cheated on, and I heard somethng about proposing, I can't imagine my dear Ryoichi married, Jiro, he had gone to France, with his wife, they are on some kind of long vacations, Takeshi started his own business, he and his wife, they married 4 months ago, are taking care of this new Sanban Enterprice, I think that means he will stop being slothy, Mushy and Sandy adn't come back since after Wally's burrial, I had returned to school, my friends and classmates felt sorry for me but now they don't care if I'm lonley.
Nigel, Abby, Hoagie, Rachel, and Fanny had become the supportive friends they once were, Ace is still flirting with me, and I still tell him that my heart belongs to Wally. I might seem happy again, but I'm not yet, my days are still grayish, but I don't let them see any more, Dr Tourette is still my shrink, and we still keep that non chatting mood, I will go make some tests and tasks, play the piano and read some books, and she will still stare at me.
chapter 9
The Game
Abby, Fanny and Rachel started placing the candles, salt, and book in order, we were at a big almost empty basement, at Abby's, Rachel brought the cushions where we will be sitting. Fanny draw a circle with the salt, and Abby brought a red covered novel and a knife, I just sat inside the circle as they did this.
After a while we started asking questions.
-Who are you? - Abby asked
-I have had many names - was what we could read in the book
-Are you an evil spirit?-Fanny asked
-Define evil and you'll be worthy to know - said the book
-We should start the game properly - said Rachel - I'll ask. Will Nigel and I be "forever after?"
-The eternity is longer then you think. (A/N: "italics" will be the answers read in the book)
-Will I ever be happy again? - I asked
-"Happiness is just a second in your life, it blinks away"
-Does that means yo will, or you wont. - Abby said.
-That means, - said Fanny - that happiness will come and go. But it may not last, my turn. Will i ever marry Patton?
-"To the woman he said: I shall give you intense pain in childbearing, you will give birth to your children in yearning will be for your husband, and he will dominate you."
-Oh ... - we all said, I think that means yes, but who knows, this game is quite weird. It' s my turn they all have asked, but I don't want to every time the book answers, I feel a chilly breeze from behind, that makes the candle lights dance and lower and then it fades away.
-Kuki, it's your turn- they said- just ask, you may find answers for your eternal question. - said Rachel.
-I'll pass this time, I do not have a question yet. -I said
Abby took the book from me, and said - Will I ever be better than Cree?
-"Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let us go out"; and while they were in the open country, Cain set on his brother Abel and killed him. "
-Does that means, you'll kick her ass? - asked Fanny
-Who knows. - Abby said, - but I'll live with that.
-Kuki your turn - said Fanny
-OK, - I said defeated - Did Wally die for a fair cause? - Of course he did, he did it for me, but am I worthy? I took the knife and placed it, I carefully opened the book, and to my surprise, and everyone else's, the candles lit out, just the candle near me kept lit,I looked to the page I had open the book on, and I just froze, I knew perfectly well why everything was happening, I couldn't move, and I felt like crying, but once more I found my eyes to be dry as if I had burnt them on the candlelights, I felt that awful knot on my throat, and that weird feeling of being as heavy as a rock.
The page I had opened the book, was a drawing, it was upside down, and I was in that shock state, because of the meaning of it, that book, was, a novel where the author quoted some genesis books, Wally added a piece of paper, where we draw a pentagram, and his version of the Devil, on the background was the tree where eve took the forbidden fruit, and he placed us, he as Adan and me as Eve, the Devil was looking at us, from behind, and an angel, that was hugging us both was looking at the Devil. Wally said once that we would never let no one and nothing harm me, that he was willing to die for me, and that he'll kept watching over me, forever.
My friends knew nothing about this drawing, I just began to shake, then I fainted.
Abby, Fanny and Rachel started placing the candles, salt, and book in order, we were at a big almost empty basement, at Abby's, Rachel brought the cushions where we will be sitting. Fanny draw a circle with the salt, and Abby brought a red covered novel and a knife, I just sat inside the circle as they did this.
After a while we started asking questions.
-Who are you? - Abby asked
-I have had many names - was what we could read in the book
-Are you an evil spirit?-Fanny asked
-Define evil and you'll be worthy to know - said the book
-We should start the game properly - said Rachel - I'll ask. Will Nigel and I be "forever after?"
-The eternity is longer then you think. (A/N: "italics" will be the answers read in the book)
-Will I ever be happy again? - I asked
-"Happiness is just a second in your life, it blinks away"
-Does that means yo will, or you wont. - Abby said.
-That means, - said Fanny - that happiness will come and go. But it may not last, my turn. Will i ever marry Patton?
-"To the woman he said: I shall give you intense pain in childbearing, you will give birth to your children in yearning will be for your husband, and he will dominate you."
-Oh ... - we all said, I think that means yes, but who knows, this game is quite weird. It' s my turn they all have asked, but I don't want to every time the book answers, I feel a chilly breeze from behind, that makes the candle lights dance and lower and then it fades away.
-Kuki, it's your turn- they said- just ask, you may find answers for your eternal question. - said Rachel.
-I'll pass this time, I do not have a question yet. -I said
Abby took the book from me, and said - Will I ever be better than Cree?
-"Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let us go out"; and while they were in the open country, Cain set on his brother Abel and killed him. "
-Does that means, you'll kick her ass? - asked Fanny
-Who knows. - Abby said, - but I'll live with that.
-Kuki your turn - said Fanny
-OK, - I said defeated - Did Wally die for a fair cause? - Of course he did, he did it for me, but am I worthy? I took the knife and placed it, I carefully opened the book, and to my surprise, and everyone else's, the candles lit out, just the candle near me kept lit,I looked to the page I had open the book on, and I just froze, I knew perfectly well why everything was happening, I couldn't move, and I felt like crying, but once more I found my eyes to be dry as if I had burnt them on the candlelights, I felt that awful knot on my throat, and that weird feeling of being as heavy as a rock.
The page I had opened the book, was a drawing, it was upside down, and I was in that shock state, because of the meaning of it, that book, was, a novel where the author quoted some genesis books, Wally added a piece of paper, where we draw a pentagram, and his version of the Devil, on the background was the tree where eve took the forbidden fruit, and he placed us, he as Adan and me as Eve, the Devil was looking at us, from behind, and an angel, that was hugging us both was looking at the Devil. Wally said once that we would never let no one and nothing harm me, that he was willing to die for me, and that he'll kept watching over me, forever.
My friends knew nothing about this drawing, I just began to shake, then I fainted.
chapter 8
Craziness
Kuki’s POV
I’m sitting here at Abby’s living room, with the girls, Fanny and Rachel, they are my best friends, unluckily for me, they became distant when I started dating Wally.
-So Kuki we heard that Wally killed himself right in front of you- said Fanny
-No, he didn’t - I said I was feeling uncomfortable I really didn’t want to talk about this - he was protecting me from a mugger
-Come on Kuki, there was no mugger; there was no one at the ally but you to - said Rachel
-There was, it was a tall man with reddish eyes, and a deep voice
-Kuki, there was no one, on that ally are cameras; there is the bank and the jewelry and the cameras just captured you and Wally, how he collapsed and a pole fell down, but Wally was already dead, and there was no time for the autopsy they buried him almost immediately. Sunday was his burial, and he died Friday you veiled him Saturday. - Abby said, she is right, there were cameras, but there was no video.
-I don’t care it was dark, and the cameras are broken, besides I’m the only eyewitness - I said triumphally
-Look - said Rachel - you tried to kill yourself, then, your argument is not valid, even if they trap the guy, if he really exist, he’ll get free, you have nothing against him, and they got your cordure.
-Are you saying that I’m crazy?
-No, she is not - said Fanny
I sat down and stared at the ceiling they kept chatting about Wally and why he could have and couldn’t have committed suicide, as if they knew him well enough.
They know nothing about him, he was tough at the beginning, but once you got to know who he really was, you could see that he was all innocence, pure love, that he was kind, loving, caring, he was just perfect.
-That’s why - I heard Abby - everyone hated him, he made you lose your mind, and you just kept ignoring us, it was as if we were ghosts.
-Abby, you were always interrupting us when we were on a special moment. -I said- besides; when I wanted to be with you, you were to busy ignoring me, and when we got together it was always to talk about school, and the parties and all that irrelevant stuff we used to talk about.
-Girls shut up, we are not here to remember that boy - Fanny said, - we are hear to have a sleep over and talk about irrelevant stuff.
-Right, we shouldn’t be talking like that - said Rachel - he has been death for about a month and Kuki here, is still down about that.
I just kept silent as they kept saying nasty things about him, well Abby and Fanny, Rachel kept asking them to stop but I didn’t mind anymore, I vaguely heard them talking about hw mean he was, and that he kept bullying them, about how harsh he was, and his hooligan attitude, about how he broke my heart more than once. About how he asked me out, and about how I wouldn’t stop talking about him since our first day at elementary, yes, the very first day I laid eyes on him, he stole my heart.
They finally quit talking about him and the party started, I know it's just a sleep over but my 3 friends are really crazy, so we started with the truth or dare classic game.
- So Fanny - Rachel said - truth or dare
-Truth - Fanny said
-Ok Fanny - said Rachel - how long have you loved Patton
-I do not love him - Fanny said a bit to quickly - he is my best friend
-Oh come on - I said - we know you do answer we won't tell
-Yeah sure, just as Rachel doesn't love Nigel - said Abby
-And Abby doesn't love Hoagie -I said
Rachel, Abby and Fanny were red of embarrassment.
-Ok ok, - Fanny said - I like like him since we entered high school ... 4 years ago
-Wow - said Rachel - that's a long time.
-Yeah, my turn, - so Abby - how was exactly your first date with Hoagie?
-Our first date? - Abby said - girl that was a long time ago ... we were 7th graders, he had already slimmed out, and well we went to the movies, then to a really fancy restaurant, "Chez Paris" and well we had a great time, of course we kept that a secret, we let u guys know until we were 10th
-Wow- I said- that's a really great love story
-Now - Abby said - Rachel - tell me, where has the first time you and Nigel got to a date, I know you as leaders of your organizations had a lot of appointments, but when was the real date?
-Well - she said - actually ... our first date was when we were 11 but we kept that a secret too, and we kept breaking up so we were 1 week as a couple and the next 7 weeks fighting so that really doesn't count, does it?
-Uhm, - Fanny said - Yes it does now it's Kuki's turn
-Yeah Kuki - Rachel said - tell us, did Wally and you ... you know ... and how was it, step by step
-What? why are you asking me that - I said embarrassed - you asked innocent questions to each other!
-Oh just answer - Abby said
-Ok .. well, yes we did, and well we were walking, by the lake you know, the one behind my house, and we were 17, anyway, we sat on the lake's shore, and we started kissing, well, huh ... - I said while blushing, I kept my eyes on the snack's bowl we took - huh .. he asked if I wanted to swim with him, but I said "Or cloths would get wet"... "Well, we can take them off, so they wouldn't right?" ... well after I while I accepted his request, and we dove on the lake, and start swimming and well it was at midnight or so, the sky was really nice, a lot of stars could be seen, and the moon was our only source of light, and then we hugged each other, and well, we ... - I said still not looking at them
-Wow, that's quite romantic, - Fanny said
-Incredible and you remember every detail! - said Abby
-How did it concluded? - said Rachel
-Well ... - I said - while we were starting to ... my brother Ryoichi was with his girl of the moment, on a boat, and he passed by, and said "What the hell are you doing here! DON'T MESS WITH MY SISTER YOU PUNK" and well I dove hiding my body and face in the lake and Wally jumped about 3 feet away from me, I started swimming back to the shore, so did Wally, then we got dressed my brother was watching our every move so we couldn't do anything, then, Ryoichi pulled me inside his car and drove us back home, leaving Wally there at the lake.
-Oh that's awful, but besides that time you never tried again did you? - they asked at the same time
-Oh well, no we didn't we said we would wait a bit more. - I said
Long after that the same night
- Well why don't we play "The Red Book" - Said Fanny
-What's that? - I asked innocently
-It's a "game" where you ask questions to a red book- said Abby
-But, isn't it dangerous? - I asked again
-Well, it is if you disrespect the , spirits and that. - Rachel said
-Well i don't wanna play, I'm sure we are fine this way.
-Don't you want to know why Wally was being so secret full with you? - said Fanny
-Well yeah.- I said - but ... I'm sure there is another way to ask that.
Kuki’s POV
I’m sitting here at Abby’s living room, with the girls, Fanny and Rachel, they are my best friends, unluckily for me, they became distant when I started dating Wally.
-So Kuki we heard that Wally killed himself right in front of you- said Fanny
-No, he didn’t - I said I was feeling uncomfortable I really didn’t want to talk about this - he was protecting me from a mugger
-Come on Kuki, there was no mugger; there was no one at the ally but you to - said Rachel
-There was, it was a tall man with reddish eyes, and a deep voice
-Kuki, there was no one, on that ally are cameras; there is the bank and the jewelry and the cameras just captured you and Wally, how he collapsed and a pole fell down, but Wally was already dead, and there was no time for the autopsy they buried him almost immediately. Sunday was his burial, and he died Friday you veiled him Saturday. - Abby said, she is right, there were cameras, but there was no video.
-I don’t care it was dark, and the cameras are broken, besides I’m the only eyewitness - I said triumphally
-Look - said Rachel - you tried to kill yourself, then, your argument is not valid, even if they trap the guy, if he really exist, he’ll get free, you have nothing against him, and they got your cordure.
-Are you saying that I’m crazy?
-No, she is not - said Fanny
I sat down and stared at the ceiling they kept chatting about Wally and why he could have and couldn’t have committed suicide, as if they knew him well enough.
They know nothing about him, he was tough at the beginning, but once you got to know who he really was, you could see that he was all innocence, pure love, that he was kind, loving, caring, he was just perfect.
-That’s why - I heard Abby - everyone hated him, he made you lose your mind, and you just kept ignoring us, it was as if we were ghosts.
-Abby, you were always interrupting us when we were on a special moment. -I said- besides; when I wanted to be with you, you were to busy ignoring me, and when we got together it was always to talk about school, and the parties and all that irrelevant stuff we used to talk about.
-Girls shut up, we are not here to remember that boy - Fanny said, - we are hear to have a sleep over and talk about irrelevant stuff.
-Right, we shouldn’t be talking like that - said Rachel - he has been death for about a month and Kuki here, is still down about that.
I just kept silent as they kept saying nasty things about him, well Abby and Fanny, Rachel kept asking them to stop but I didn’t mind anymore, I vaguely heard them talking about hw mean he was, and that he kept bullying them, about how harsh he was, and his hooligan attitude, about how he broke my heart more than once. About how he asked me out, and about how I wouldn’t stop talking about him since our first day at elementary, yes, the very first day I laid eyes on him, he stole my heart.
They finally quit talking about him and the party started, I know it's just a sleep over but my 3 friends are really crazy, so we started with the truth or dare classic game.
- So Fanny - Rachel said - truth or dare
-Truth - Fanny said
-Ok Fanny - said Rachel - how long have you loved Patton
-I do not love him - Fanny said a bit to quickly - he is my best friend
-Oh come on - I said - we know you do answer we won't tell
-Yeah sure, just as Rachel doesn't love Nigel - said Abby
-And Abby doesn't love Hoagie -I said
Rachel, Abby and Fanny were red of embarrassment.
-Ok ok, - Fanny said - I like like him since we entered high school ... 4 years ago
-Wow - said Rachel - that's a long time.
-Yeah, my turn, - so Abby - how was exactly your first date with Hoagie?
-Our first date? - Abby said - girl that was a long time ago ... we were 7th graders, he had already slimmed out, and well we went to the movies, then to a really fancy restaurant, "Chez Paris" and well we had a great time, of course we kept that a secret, we let u guys know until we were 10th
-Wow- I said- that's a really great love story
-Now - Abby said - Rachel - tell me, where has the first time you and Nigel got to a date, I know you as leaders of your organizations had a lot of appointments, but when was the real date?
-Well - she said - actually ... our first date was when we were 11 but we kept that a secret too, and we kept breaking up so we were 1 week as a couple and the next 7 weeks fighting so that really doesn't count, does it?
-Uhm, - Fanny said - Yes it does now it's Kuki's turn
-Yeah Kuki - Rachel said - tell us, did Wally and you ... you know ... and how was it, step by step
-What? why are you asking me that - I said embarrassed - you asked innocent questions to each other!
-Oh just answer - Abby said
-Ok .. well, yes we did, and well we were walking, by the lake you know, the one behind my house, and we were 17, anyway, we sat on the lake's shore, and we started kissing, well, huh ... - I said while blushing, I kept my eyes on the snack's bowl we took - huh .. he asked if I wanted to swim with him, but I said "Or cloths would get wet"... "Well, we can take them off, so they wouldn't right?" ... well after I while I accepted his request, and we dove on the lake, and start swimming and well it was at midnight or so, the sky was really nice, a lot of stars could be seen, and the moon was our only source of light, and then we hugged each other, and well, we ... - I said still not looking at them
-Wow, that's quite romantic, - Fanny said
-Incredible and you remember every detail! - said Abby
-How did it concluded? - said Rachel
-Well ... - I said - while we were starting to ... my brother Ryoichi was with his girl of the moment, on a boat, and he passed by, and said "What the hell are you doing here! DON'T MESS WITH MY SISTER YOU PUNK" and well I dove hiding my body and face in the lake and Wally jumped about 3 feet away from me, I started swimming back to the shore, so did Wally, then we got dressed my brother was watching our every move so we couldn't do anything, then, Ryoichi pulled me inside his car and drove us back home, leaving Wally there at the lake.
-Oh that's awful, but besides that time you never tried again did you? - they asked at the same time
-Oh well, no we didn't we said we would wait a bit more. - I said
Long after that the same night
- Well why don't we play "The Red Book" - Said Fanny
-What's that? - I asked innocently
-It's a "game" where you ask questions to a red book- said Abby
-But, isn't it dangerous? - I asked again
-Well, it is if you disrespect the , spirits and that. - Rachel said
-Well i don't wanna play, I'm sure we are fine this way.
-Don't you want to know why Wally was being so secret full with you? - said Fanny
-Well yeah.- I said - but ... I'm sure there is another way to ask that.
chapter 7
Suicide
Kuki’s POV
I took the knife, I’m shaking, I press the blade against my wrist, today is Wally's b-day, and he had been dead one month and 3 weeks.
The cold blade is cutting through my skin; I can feel every single muscle, every single fiber of my skin breaking apart. I am sitting on my bathtub, fully dressed; I'm wearing his favorite outfit, some black jeans and a polo type dark green shirt, my sneakers, my hair is done in that messy bun I used to wear at high-school.
I have a photo album in my lap, it’s open at a picture of me and Wally, the day he finally asked me out I was wearing exactly the same; the notebook the shrink gave me is there to, open on that last entry, my entry, there is just one thought on my head right now. As Juliet killed herself with a blade, after Romeo, I will kill myself to follow my dear Wally to the other world.
-Life's a bitch, then you die, and it's over. I'll skip the bitch and proceed immediately. - I said as I close my eyes and think of Wally; I try to ease the pain on my wrist; I know I’ll die. The pain is so strong I start crying, the tears are steaming my face as they go down, I suddenly feel no more pain, I open my eyes and I see him there by my side.
-Kuki, I gave my life for you, you must keep living.
-Wally I can’t live without you it’s so much painful, please take me with you.
We are surrounded by some blank space, as if we were floating on the sky, but I can feel the ground on my toes, and a soft warm breeze coming from somewhere.
-Kuki, please you won’t die, not today, please, you must understand that
-But I miss you
-I miss you too, but I promise I’ll come for you soon enough, just wait and be patient.
Everything begins to turn blurry and I feel as if I were falling from somewhere, everything turns black, and I can hear some muffled voices, they are speaking incoherent words.
-You get there just in time. - Some deep voice said
-Luckily I just needed a word with her - a sweet voice I love so much said, it was Takeshi’s - is she going to be Ok?
-Well if it weren’t for you and your brothers, she could have died, I’ll recommend you to take a closer watch over her, the things she lived are not the best you could get. She might have some nausea and she could probably try suicide again.
-Thanks Dr. Jenkins
-I’ll bring her shrink in, after she wakes up, have a nice day
I know who is in here; there is Takeshi, Jiro, Ryoichi, Father and Mother. Mushi must be elsewhere, I’ll just rest a bit, and I can’t believe Wally wants me to stay behind, we had promised to be together always, now death tore us apart and we can’t be together.
I remember now, vividly what happened that awful night, everything, not just the part where he gets killed, and it was my entire fault.
One week later
-You wrote a really sad poem Kuki - said Dr. Tourette - It has a real deep meaning. -I remained silent - I know that suicide might seem as the only exit, but it isn’t you’ll see.
-I - I’ll speak to the shrink for the first time since I start coming here, in all the other sessions I would pick up a book and read it, and write something about it, I usually picked dark books, or romantic novels, I always cried while reading, and Dr. Tourette would hug me and shush me.
-I knew you would try to kill yourself but I knew you wouldn’t have the nerve to do so - she said
-What do you mean?
-You stopped the bleeding
-I didn’t, I fainted
-Yes you did, you did after you stopped the bleeding, and you were found at Ryoichi’s bedroom with a bandage over the wound, you didn’t cut yourself that bad
-I can’t remember all that, I just remember a big pain then nothing and … -I doubted a bit, should I tell her about Wally visiting me? - … And then waking at the intensive care at the hospital. - I want to tell someone about how Wally died - It is my fault …
-What is?
-That Wally died
-No it is not, Kuki that kind of things just happen, you were mugged and he tried to defend you, the police caught them, you saw it on the news.
-No you don’t understand, I … - I look at Mr. Wallykins; he is on my backpack his head popping out.
-Kuki, Wally died it doesn’t matter whose fault it was, it just happened. Now calm down, sit and start the exam.
Just what I needed a psychometric exam.
-Come on Kuki this will help; you’ll see-
Sure I started solving that idiotic exam, I mean they know that I have problems going through Wally’s death, why can’t they leave me alone, I won’t die any time soon. Wally won’t let me.
After my suicide attempt my friends have become really supportive, I haven’t gone to the graveyard lately, I know I’ll try something again if I keep going, nevertheless I’ll keep bringing flowers to the love of my life, I love him so much, even if he is waiting for me after death.
Kuki’s POV
I took the knife, I’m shaking, I press the blade against my wrist, today is Wally's b-day, and he had been dead one month and 3 weeks.
The cold blade is cutting through my skin; I can feel every single muscle, every single fiber of my skin breaking apart. I am sitting on my bathtub, fully dressed; I'm wearing his favorite outfit, some black jeans and a polo type dark green shirt, my sneakers, my hair is done in that messy bun I used to wear at high-school.
I have a photo album in my lap, it’s open at a picture of me and Wally, the day he finally asked me out I was wearing exactly the same; the notebook the shrink gave me is there to, open on that last entry, my entry, there is just one thought on my head right now. As Juliet killed herself with a blade, after Romeo, I will kill myself to follow my dear Wally to the other world.
-Life's a bitch, then you die, and it's over. I'll skip the bitch and proceed immediately. - I said as I close my eyes and think of Wally; I try to ease the pain on my wrist; I know I’ll die. The pain is so strong I start crying, the tears are steaming my face as they go down, I suddenly feel no more pain, I open my eyes and I see him there by my side.
-Kuki, I gave my life for you, you must keep living.
-Wally I can’t live without you it’s so much painful, please take me with you.
We are surrounded by some blank space, as if we were floating on the sky, but I can feel the ground on my toes, and a soft warm breeze coming from somewhere.
-Kuki, please you won’t die, not today, please, you must understand that
-But I miss you
-I miss you too, but I promise I’ll come for you soon enough, just wait and be patient.
Everything begins to turn blurry and I feel as if I were falling from somewhere, everything turns black, and I can hear some muffled voices, they are speaking incoherent words.
-You get there just in time. - Some deep voice said
-Luckily I just needed a word with her - a sweet voice I love so much said, it was Takeshi’s - is she going to be Ok?
-Well if it weren’t for you and your brothers, she could have died, I’ll recommend you to take a closer watch over her, the things she lived are not the best you could get. She might have some nausea and she could probably try suicide again.
-Thanks Dr. Jenkins
-I’ll bring her shrink in, after she wakes up, have a nice day
I know who is in here; there is Takeshi, Jiro, Ryoichi, Father and Mother. Mushi must be elsewhere, I’ll just rest a bit, and I can’t believe Wally wants me to stay behind, we had promised to be together always, now death tore us apart and we can’t be together.
I remember now, vividly what happened that awful night, everything, not just the part where he gets killed, and it was my entire fault.
One week later
-You wrote a really sad poem Kuki - said Dr. Tourette - It has a real deep meaning. -I remained silent - I know that suicide might seem as the only exit, but it isn’t you’ll see.
-I - I’ll speak to the shrink for the first time since I start coming here, in all the other sessions I would pick up a book and read it, and write something about it, I usually picked dark books, or romantic novels, I always cried while reading, and Dr. Tourette would hug me and shush me.
-I knew you would try to kill yourself but I knew you wouldn’t have the nerve to do so - she said
-What do you mean?
-You stopped the bleeding
-I didn’t, I fainted
-Yes you did, you did after you stopped the bleeding, and you were found at Ryoichi’s bedroom with a bandage over the wound, you didn’t cut yourself that bad
-I can’t remember all that, I just remember a big pain then nothing and … -I doubted a bit, should I tell her about Wally visiting me? - … And then waking at the intensive care at the hospital. - I want to tell someone about how Wally died - It is my fault …
-What is?
-That Wally died
-No it is not, Kuki that kind of things just happen, you were mugged and he tried to defend you, the police caught them, you saw it on the news.
-No you don’t understand, I … - I look at Mr. Wallykins; he is on my backpack his head popping out.
-Kuki, Wally died it doesn’t matter whose fault it was, it just happened. Now calm down, sit and start the exam.
Just what I needed a psychometric exam.
-Come on Kuki this will help; you’ll see-
Sure I started solving that idiotic exam, I mean they know that I have problems going through Wally’s death, why can’t they leave me alone, I won’t die any time soon. Wally won’t let me.
After my suicide attempt my friends have become really supportive, I haven’t gone to the graveyard lately, I know I’ll try something again if I keep going, nevertheless I’ll keep bringing flowers to the love of my life, I love him so much, even if he is waiting for me after death.
Chapter 6
Wally’s Pov
Kuki has been coming to m grave every day for the last month, the first week she didn't came, I know she is really depressed, and it's partly my fault, I shouldn't have haunted her sleep.
My father is a workaholic that never really loved to be home, he said we needed money, we were a wealthy family, not the richest of the town, but we were from the high society, my father always wanted to be part of the Sanban troops, I just happened to love the eldest of the Sanban girls.
My mother is always home always with Joey, well that was ‘till she and my father decided to divorce, and my mother and took of with Joey. They are cool I guess, I never heard of ‘em again. I just know that they moved to Cleveland, and we live in Beverly Hills, where else?
Joey, he was three when they went so I can’t remember much of him, I was 13 then.
I know her family hates me, why? Well I'm a hood for them.
Her father thinks I'm ... was trying to steal his fortune, how? Well my family is not the best, and we were kind of poor, compared to her family
Her mother never thought more than the poor hood she fell for, just a crush, shell grow out of him, besides she was never around.
Ryoichi, Jiro and Takeshi they hate me ‘cause I’m male and I got near her, besides some other things. Ryoichi well because he caught us while we were kissing passionately, and we were going to take us deeper, if you know what I mean. Jiro hates me ‘cause he thinks that I starved her when we were together, Takeshi thought that I would be slothy and I would use her to get to her money. Mushy well she fell for me when I was 10, and I rejected her, well I had already a crush on her sister it took me 8 years to tell her that I loved her. Sandy he has all the right to hate me I was a threat for him; Mushi could break up with him and try to be wit me.
Currently I hate myself I know I could have live after that dreadful day. I know that I could have fought him and save my dear Kuki and of course myself. I know Kuki would be better of knowing that I were on jail rather than being here on this funeral box, lying 10 feet under ground.
I can clearly remember everything the way her hair swung on the wind, the length of it, almost reaching her ankles, I know she kept it that long ‘cause I asked her to, I had this wild dream where we were on the pond and her hair would cover all her body, letting me feel all the lust I could, by hiding her silhouette under her hair. Her skinny silhouette, every inch of her body, the silky and milky texture of her skin, her aroma, just like vanilla, it drove me crazy. Her face features, all her features, they are like goddess features, thin, beautiful. Her thin and pointy nose, I’m sure Aphrodite is short compared with Kuki. Her violet eyes, her angry look, I felt happy every time she would be angry at me, that instant in which her eyes would become from tender and loving, to those full of rage, that would shine like the stars, that small instant was marvelous. I know she would only get that angry at me; usually I would beat up the one who dared to make her angry. The sound of her voice, it was as if … as if… an angel spoke to me, her high-pitched voice, her sweet voice, she was definitively an angel. Her thin, slender and small hands, I loved them too they were just perfect.
The day I gathered enough courage and asked her out, we were 18, the prom was coming she had always gone with her friends Abby, Nigel, Hoagie, Fanny, Rachel, Patton, Lizzie and herself; and I would go with my gang, Kevin and Javier, we were the Dynamic Trio, she chose that name for us. A week before the prom I walked down to her locker, High school was almost over and I had been waiting for the right time since 4th grade, Finally at the end of 12th I choose to ask her out.
-Hey Kuki – I said
-Hey Wally- she said flirty
-Hum… You know the Prom is almost here and I was wondering- I said I was having troubles formulating the question
-Yeah?
-Ifyouwouldliketogowithme’causeIreallylikeyouandIwouldlike
-Hold on, I can’t understand a thing, seriously Wally, we’ve been friends since 1st, slow down
-Hum I wanted to know if …
-If?
-You would like to go with me, ‘cause I really likeyoubutI’llunderstandifyoudon’tlikemebackwecouldstillgothereasfriends
-Wally you are speaking way to fast, I would love to go with you, now could you repeat the last part please?
-I’ll pick you up at seven k? – I said running away I mean what else could I do make a fool out of myself again?
-K, but you said something else- I couldn’t hide it anymore so I just took her head in my hands and pulled her into a kiss, I knew if she didn’t kissed me back our friendship would be ruined forever, for my surprise she kissed me back, and after a few seconds she pulled away.
After that we became a couple and we were inseparable that summer was amazing truly. The whole first year we kept arguing like any normal couple, when we headed the second year we fought we argued more but about serious things, we would make out and everything would be ok after a while, now heading the third year it hit me I had to marry her. Everything went according to the plan, I knew by heart all her measurements, I really didn’t need to measure her finger to bring the ring I just knew which one to buy, the smallest one, it was a 4 ¾, (0.577”), a golden ring with a small diamond, thou for her it would be huge, the best I can afford for my girl, she deserves only the best.
That day it would rain as usual, I picked her up by 5 o’clock, I took her to dinner at the most expensive place I knew, fancy, cozy, everything like she liked it, it’s a small place the Aloha island coffee. I know she loves it there, the view, the food, and the environment. After that I took her to the sea. I knew her dream was to be asked by the seashore and I planned everything to be perfect for my girl. As the sunset began I kneeled by her side, holding both of her hands I proposed and opened the small velvet box with her ring inside, she was speechless she pinched herself and tears began to flow down her cheeks, “I do” she said, I stood up and pulled her into a deep and loving kiss, as always it began raining, and we began walking back home.
Well that was my last day on earth; I was killed that day; by whom? God knows, I just remember that we were passing by some street and someone came out of the darkness of the night, with a knife, I fought him then I felt numb, I heard Kuki crying, and I saw a pole, I knew I has being hit with it, but my body wouldn’t react, I felt my body falling to the ground. I saw that silhouette disappearing into the darkness, I saw Kuki holding to me trying to keep me alive, but I had already died, he had hit me with such strength that my skull broke, and blood was dripping by the side, I focused my last energy on Kuki, and whispered my last words.
-I love you Kuki, don’t cry, everything will be fine.
She kept crying and holding me as if she could stop the time, and keep death away. The next day she was at the graveyard crying alone, I know that they wouldn’t bother on finding who killed me. That would only depend on Kuki, but I knew that she wouldn’t remember a thing, and that my killer would be out there.
My dad took Kuki home, he was smiling, I know he is creepy, and that it’s weird for a parent that had just buried his eldest son, and only family, to be cheerful and smiling, but that’s just dad. He can’t feel pan, ‘cause he well he isn’t strong enough so he pretends I’m still at college and I will return someday.
Now Kuki is going to the shrink, she is planning on committing suicide, she told me so, I can’t let that happen, she can find happiness again. I must help her and the only way I can do so, is by haunting her dreams, that’s the only time she hears me clearly.
Kuki has been coming to m grave every day for the last month, the first week she didn't came, I know she is really depressed, and it's partly my fault, I shouldn't have haunted her sleep.
My father is a workaholic that never really loved to be home, he said we needed money, we were a wealthy family, not the richest of the town, but we were from the high society, my father always wanted to be part of the Sanban troops, I just happened to love the eldest of the Sanban girls.
My mother is always home always with Joey, well that was ‘till she and my father decided to divorce, and my mother and took of with Joey. They are cool I guess, I never heard of ‘em again. I just know that they moved to Cleveland, and we live in Beverly Hills, where else?
Joey, he was three when they went so I can’t remember much of him, I was 13 then.
I know her family hates me, why? Well I'm a hood for them.
Her father thinks I'm ... was trying to steal his fortune, how? Well my family is not the best, and we were kind of poor, compared to her family
Her mother never thought more than the poor hood she fell for, just a crush, shell grow out of him, besides she was never around.
Ryoichi, Jiro and Takeshi they hate me ‘cause I’m male and I got near her, besides some other things. Ryoichi well because he caught us while we were kissing passionately, and we were going to take us deeper, if you know what I mean. Jiro hates me ‘cause he thinks that I starved her when we were together, Takeshi thought that I would be slothy and I would use her to get to her money. Mushy well she fell for me when I was 10, and I rejected her, well I had already a crush on her sister it took me 8 years to tell her that I loved her. Sandy he has all the right to hate me I was a threat for him; Mushi could break up with him and try to be wit me.
Currently I hate myself I know I could have live after that dreadful day. I know that I could have fought him and save my dear Kuki and of course myself. I know Kuki would be better of knowing that I were on jail rather than being here on this funeral box, lying 10 feet under ground.
I can clearly remember everything the way her hair swung on the wind, the length of it, almost reaching her ankles, I know she kept it that long ‘cause I asked her to, I had this wild dream where we were on the pond and her hair would cover all her body, letting me feel all the lust I could, by hiding her silhouette under her hair. Her skinny silhouette, every inch of her body, the silky and milky texture of her skin, her aroma, just like vanilla, it drove me crazy. Her face features, all her features, they are like goddess features, thin, beautiful. Her thin and pointy nose, I’m sure Aphrodite is short compared with Kuki. Her violet eyes, her angry look, I felt happy every time she would be angry at me, that instant in which her eyes would become from tender and loving, to those full of rage, that would shine like the stars, that small instant was marvelous. I know she would only get that angry at me; usually I would beat up the one who dared to make her angry. The sound of her voice, it was as if … as if… an angel spoke to me, her high-pitched voice, her sweet voice, she was definitively an angel. Her thin, slender and small hands, I loved them too they were just perfect.
The day I gathered enough courage and asked her out, we were 18, the prom was coming she had always gone with her friends Abby, Nigel, Hoagie, Fanny, Rachel, Patton, Lizzie and herself; and I would go with my gang, Kevin and Javier, we were the Dynamic Trio, she chose that name for us. A week before the prom I walked down to her locker, High school was almost over and I had been waiting for the right time since 4th grade, Finally at the end of 12th I choose to ask her out.
-Hey Kuki – I said
-Hey Wally- she said flirty
-Hum… You know the Prom is almost here and I was wondering- I said I was having troubles formulating the question
-Yeah?
-Ifyouwouldliketogowithme’causeIreallylikeyouandIwouldlike
-Hold on, I can’t understand a thing, seriously Wally, we’ve been friends since 1st, slow down
-Hum I wanted to know if …
-If?
-You would like to go with me, ‘cause I really likeyoubutI’llunderstandifyoudon’tlikemebackwecouldstillgothereasfriends
-Wally you are speaking way to fast, I would love to go with you, now could you repeat the last part please?
-I’ll pick you up at seven k? – I said running away I mean what else could I do make a fool out of myself again?
-K, but you said something else- I couldn’t hide it anymore so I just took her head in my hands and pulled her into a kiss, I knew if she didn’t kissed me back our friendship would be ruined forever, for my surprise she kissed me back, and after a few seconds she pulled away.
After that we became a couple and we were inseparable that summer was amazing truly. The whole first year we kept arguing like any normal couple, when we headed the second year we fought we argued more but about serious things, we would make out and everything would be ok after a while, now heading the third year it hit me I had to marry her. Everything went according to the plan, I knew by heart all her measurements, I really didn’t need to measure her finger to bring the ring I just knew which one to buy, the smallest one, it was a 4 ¾, (0.577”), a golden ring with a small diamond, thou for her it would be huge, the best I can afford for my girl, she deserves only the best.
That day it would rain as usual, I picked her up by 5 o’clock, I took her to dinner at the most expensive place I knew, fancy, cozy, everything like she liked it, it’s a small place the Aloha island coffee. I know she loves it there, the view, the food, and the environment. After that I took her to the sea. I knew her dream was to be asked by the seashore and I planned everything to be perfect for my girl. As the sunset began I kneeled by her side, holding both of her hands I proposed and opened the small velvet box with her ring inside, she was speechless she pinched herself and tears began to flow down her cheeks, “I do” she said, I stood up and pulled her into a deep and loving kiss, as always it began raining, and we began walking back home.
Well that was my last day on earth; I was killed that day; by whom? God knows, I just remember that we were passing by some street and someone came out of the darkness of the night, with a knife, I fought him then I felt numb, I heard Kuki crying, and I saw a pole, I knew I has being hit with it, but my body wouldn’t react, I felt my body falling to the ground. I saw that silhouette disappearing into the darkness, I saw Kuki holding to me trying to keep me alive, but I had already died, he had hit me with such strength that my skull broke, and blood was dripping by the side, I focused my last energy on Kuki, and whispered my last words.
-I love you Kuki, don’t cry, everything will be fine.
She kept crying and holding me as if she could stop the time, and keep death away. The next day she was at the graveyard crying alone, I know that they wouldn’t bother on finding who killed me. That would only depend on Kuki, but I knew that she wouldn’t remember a thing, and that my killer would be out there.
My dad took Kuki home, he was smiling, I know he is creepy, and that it’s weird for a parent that had just buried his eldest son, and only family, to be cheerful and smiling, but that’s just dad. He can’t feel pan, ‘cause he well he isn’t strong enough so he pretends I’m still at college and I will return someday.
Now Kuki is going to the shrink, she is planning on committing suicide, she told me so, I can’t let that happen, she can find happiness again. I must help her and the only way I can do so, is by haunting her dreams, that’s the only time she hears me clearly.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Chapter 5
The Notebook
I'm still sitting by the graveyard, I've been coming here everyday for the last month, I can't get over him, and that's what has me in this big mess. As time passes by, I began reading the notebook Dr. Tourette gave me, there are many really sad poems, some quotations of Edgar Allan Poe, and other dark poets, but there is this story that shocked me:
"The True meaning of happiness"
There was once a little girl, who was traveling around the world, she, was looking for the true meaning of happiness. This girl couldn't smile, laugh, nor giggle.
She started to travel around the world, in order to find out why she and only she couldn't be happy.
That’s when she left home, carrying only one backpack, in it she had just one clothes change, one dictionary, some money and one guide, with it she left home. She was starting her trip when she decided she’d first go to the park, so she headed to the nearest park.
She saw all the park empty, all the kids were gone, she suddenly thought that kids probably were at school; on her way to the school she saw a dog that was running away, the dog was crossing a street in order to get to the girl. She was conscious of the danger of crossing a street running and with out any precaution, the dog was hit by a car and died, after the dog was a kid, who saw the way the dog had died. The girl saw her opportunity and asked the boy what made him happy, the boy sobbing answered
- The only thing hat made me happy has now died.
The girl started walking away and traveling in each town she encountered, she headed to parks, but they were all empty, she headed to schools, but they were all destroyed. But when she finally found some one she asked
–What makes you happy?- She received lots of answers, but they were only empty words, she heard things like: My toys, my pet, my books, my TV, my school, my computer, my friends, but, what if all this suddenly disappeared? Will they be eternally sad? Therefore, she kept her way looking for an answer that would apply every day, every time and every one.
She found in one of the many cities one girl with big eyes and small mouth, when she saw her she asked her name by saying
- Hi I'm - she was thinking of a name when she realized her name didn't matter so she keep by saying -I'm a girl who has no name who are you?
The other girl looked at the girl with no name and answered.
-My name is Fatima, what can I do for you?-
The girl with no name asked her question -Fatima, what makes you happy?-
Fatima looked at the girl with no name and said -What kind of question is that? If you don't know what happiness is why do you ask what makes me happy?
The girl with no name started thinking the true meaning of happiness, so she sat at a swing and stared at her feet, wondering the true meaning of happiness.
Sometime after that Fatima sat with her and said -The meaning of happiness is hidden on your heart, the meaning of happiness is unique for each human being, I am happy for the simple reason of being alive. What makes you happy? –
The girl with no name answered- I'm happy because one of you human being has finally answered my question, I have been here on Earth several centuries, asking every kid what made him happy, but they always answered things like: my dog, my skates, my school, my toys, my T.V., but you, you Fatima, you have ended my search, you are happy just by being you.
I couldn’t think of anything this girl was like wow. I turned the sheet to read the next entry, it was empty, meaning I should write my own entry, I began thinking and suddenly it hit me.
I took out my pen and began writing.
Waiting
I'm here waiting for you to come back
Just sitting here in the graveyard
I'm sitting here, wondering
Why you'll never come back?
Why, why you left me alone?
In a gravestone I can read
"A lovers never fulfilled dream"
I'm waiting here, thinking
When will you come for me?
The day you died was the best,
It was the day our dreams came true
But hell tore us apart
Hell won't leave us be happy together
Forgive me my love
For it's my fault you're down there
Today is cloudy, but it won't rain
It used to rain every time we dated
It used to pour every time we kissed
It’s cloudy today, sun won't come out
It's cloudy but rain won't fall
I'm here walking in the graveyard
I sit down by your grave
I clean it, from the dry leaves from that old tree
I'm holding a beautiful white rose
One that was supposed to be on our wedding bouquet
I'm here playing with it wondering
Why did they take you away from me?
Why can't we live happily ever after?
We stay here staring at each other
Warmly, coldly, distantly, lovingly
Our eyes will never meet again
The day you died I died
We had promised each other to be lovers forever
Just as Romeo and Juliet
And just as Juliet committed suicide
When she saw Romeo, dear Romeo dead
To join her beloved Romeo she took her own life away
They couldn't live without the other
Just as we can't
Wait for me my love, my dear Romeo
I'm your Juliet and I’ll join you in death.
-Wally, I must go now- I said as I gathered my things and stood up.
On his grave was half a heart, the left part of a heart.
As I walked down the street heading home, I began thinking all the things that he had suffered since Elementary.
I'm still sitting by the graveyard, I've been coming here everyday for the last month, I can't get over him, and that's what has me in this big mess. As time passes by, I began reading the notebook Dr. Tourette gave me, there are many really sad poems, some quotations of Edgar Allan Poe, and other dark poets, but there is this story that shocked me:
"The True meaning of happiness"
There was once a little girl, who was traveling around the world, she, was looking for the true meaning of happiness. This girl couldn't smile, laugh, nor giggle.
She started to travel around the world, in order to find out why she and only she couldn't be happy.
That’s when she left home, carrying only one backpack, in it she had just one clothes change, one dictionary, some money and one guide, with it she left home. She was starting her trip when she decided she’d first go to the park, so she headed to the nearest park.
She saw all the park empty, all the kids were gone, she suddenly thought that kids probably were at school; on her way to the school she saw a dog that was running away, the dog was crossing a street in order to get to the girl. She was conscious of the danger of crossing a street running and with out any precaution, the dog was hit by a car and died, after the dog was a kid, who saw the way the dog had died. The girl saw her opportunity and asked the boy what made him happy, the boy sobbing answered
- The only thing hat made me happy has now died.
The girl started walking away and traveling in each town she encountered, she headed to parks, but they were all empty, she headed to schools, but they were all destroyed. But when she finally found some one she asked
–What makes you happy?- She received lots of answers, but they were only empty words, she heard things like: My toys, my pet, my books, my TV, my school, my computer, my friends, but, what if all this suddenly disappeared? Will they be eternally sad? Therefore, she kept her way looking for an answer that would apply every day, every time and every one.
She found in one of the many cities one girl with big eyes and small mouth, when she saw her she asked her name by saying
- Hi I'm - she was thinking of a name when she realized her name didn't matter so she keep by saying -I'm a girl who has no name who are you?
The other girl looked at the girl with no name and answered.
-My name is Fatima, what can I do for you?-
The girl with no name asked her question -Fatima, what makes you happy?-
Fatima looked at the girl with no name and said -What kind of question is that? If you don't know what happiness is why do you ask what makes me happy?
The girl with no name started thinking the true meaning of happiness, so she sat at a swing and stared at her feet, wondering the true meaning of happiness.
Sometime after that Fatima sat with her and said -The meaning of happiness is hidden on your heart, the meaning of happiness is unique for each human being, I am happy for the simple reason of being alive. What makes you happy? –
The girl with no name answered- I'm happy because one of you human being has finally answered my question, I have been here on Earth several centuries, asking every kid what made him happy, but they always answered things like: my dog, my skates, my school, my toys, my T.V., but you, you Fatima, you have ended my search, you are happy just by being you.
I couldn’t think of anything this girl was like wow. I turned the sheet to read the next entry, it was empty, meaning I should write my own entry, I began thinking and suddenly it hit me.
I took out my pen and began writing.
Waiting
I'm here waiting for you to come back
Just sitting here in the graveyard
I'm sitting here, wondering
Why you'll never come back?
Why, why you left me alone?
In a gravestone I can read
"A lovers never fulfilled dream"
I'm waiting here, thinking
When will you come for me?
The day you died was the best,
It was the day our dreams came true
But hell tore us apart
Hell won't leave us be happy together
Forgive me my love
For it's my fault you're down there
Today is cloudy, but it won't rain
It used to rain every time we dated
It used to pour every time we kissed
It’s cloudy today, sun won't come out
It's cloudy but rain won't fall
I'm here walking in the graveyard
I sit down by your grave
I clean it, from the dry leaves from that old tree
I'm holding a beautiful white rose
One that was supposed to be on our wedding bouquet
I'm here playing with it wondering
Why did they take you away from me?
Why can't we live happily ever after?
We stay here staring at each other
Warmly, coldly, distantly, lovingly
Our eyes will never meet again
The day you died I died
We had promised each other to be lovers forever
Just as Romeo and Juliet
And just as Juliet committed suicide
When she saw Romeo, dear Romeo dead
To join her beloved Romeo she took her own life away
They couldn't live without the other
Just as we can't
Wait for me my love, my dear Romeo
I'm your Juliet and I’ll join you in death.
-Wally, I must go now- I said as I gathered my things and stood up.
On his grave was half a heart, the left part of a heart.
As I walked down the street heading home, I began thinking all the things that he had suffered since Elementary.
Chapter 4
A shrink
It has been a month now, I’m back at school, I keep wearing black, I feel that color demonstrate what’s inside me now, nothingness, I walk by the school as a zombie, Wally is on every corner, there is a an altar for all those who have died this term, incredibly 3 more guys died, basically the same way Wally did.
Abby, Nigel Hoagie Fanny and Rachel, had been my friends since elementary, they had been helping me get through this torture, they keep talking about stuff and try to cheer me up, but I say nothing I’m slowly walking away, they never talk about Wally, they never liked him, and I guess they think that way I will be the cheerful happy-go girl I used to be.
Abby, is an Franco-American girl, she has dark skin, brown long hair always tied on a French braid, and she always wears a red cap, always since elementary. Nigel is a British guy, he is bald, and wears dark sunglasses. Hoagie is an American boy, he used to be chubby, but he became skinny, he has bluish eyes, brownish hair and he always uses a pilot cap and yellow goggles, thou they are always on top of his cap, and not really on his eyes. Fanny is an Irish girl, she is redheaded and she is really bossy, she always wears a green zip up hooded jacket, and Rachel, she is American too, I guess, ever really cared to ask, she wears a black sweater, and black denim jeans, she is blond and has dark brown eyes.
My friends constantly tell me that I should stop mourning over him; they know I go to the graveyard every day, and that I’m staying at my parent’s. My family has become worried to, surprisingly, they think I don’t pay attention to their reunions, but I do.
I really hate it, parties are thrown everywhere, and my friends are trying to take me there, but I truly only want some sleep and think of Wally, it has been now 1month, that was the day I thought all my dreams will come true, and the day all my dreams were crushed by reality. Once again I’m sitting here at the graveyard, this time I am not the only one, there are many families here, singing songs and weird stuff, they are telling some legends and stuff. “The Kid” is a friend of mine, I met him the same day I met Wally, he has Mexican roots, he once explained that on Halloween they go to the graveyard because on November 1st, Dia de Muertos, is celebrated, it’s a weird tradition where they sing songs, and tell anecdotes of the one that they came to visit, Nov. 1st and 2nd they come to be with them. I think I’ll ask him more of this weird tradition; he might be able to help me heal my pain away.
My parents came to take me out of the graveyard; they must be really concerned, other wise they would have sent Rose.
-Kuki – my mom said – we think that it’s better if you see some professional, because you have been all depressed lately, and ok we get that Wally was the best guy for you, but, things happen for a reason, and well we think that you should see a shrink.
My eyes widened at that last part, but I remained quiet, it was as if someone had cut my tongue I hold onto a loosen rock on Wally’s grave, I hadn’t noticed that before, my brothers, appeared right behind my parents, and Mushi came too, with Sandy holding her hand, they both had a cocky smile plastered on their faces.
My brothers helped me up, my father who was by my mother went to get the car, Mushi and Sandy kept whispering with each other and kissing and all that mushy things they do. I bet they do that on purpose right in front of me, like saying, “look, I still have someone to love, that loves me back, and he isn’t rotten like yours”.
My brothers helped me to stand, Ryoichi, saw that I wasn’t planning to move, so he and Jiro exchanged worried looks, Takeshi walked by my side, and carried me as if I was a sack of potatoes, Jiro took my backpack, and Ryoichi helped my mom, I began crying once again, I couldn’t understand why they have become so worried over the past month.
I’m sitting on the lobby of a medical institution, I’m going to talk to a shrink, mom said something about policemen that were going to see who killed Wally, and since I’m the only witness, they want me to testify but, I can’t remember a thing.
I feel a knot on my throat I might began crying again, I’ve cried so much this last month, you could think I’ve got no more tears to cry.
-Kuki Sanban – a voice said I looked up – Doctor Tourette will see you now.
I stood up, and entered the doctor’s office, it’s a circular room, filled with what you could say is one bog bookshelf that covered the whole room, it has two doors and a big window, but except for that all the room is filled with books, it has also a small desk near the window, with two chairs, a couch that’s also by the window, and a piano, that is in the middle of the room, I began walking by the wall, examining the office, Dr. Tourette hadn’t arrived yet, as I began observing the room I noticed there were about 6 ticking clocks each one with a complete different hour, there were also 5 calendars, that were also inaccurate, there were also fairies and dragons hanging by the ceiling, and a cellar that allowed light to get to the office. I saw a girl about Ryoichi’s age get inside, she was wearing a black blouse, and jeans, she had her doctor’s robe on, she had short silvery hair, brown eyes, and thin facial features.
She sat herself on one of the chairs by the desk, watching me, she hadn’t said a word, she watches me moving through her office, reading the titles of the books, I can’t go there and sit myself this office is nothing I had expected, all this books, they don’t seem to be medical books, there are more literature books, one book caught my attention particularly, it’s a medium sized book, lined with black leather, it has golden letters.
-Feel free to take any book and read it.
I took it out of the shelf and read the title, “Romeo and Juliet”, I put it back in, and keep examining the books, I also took “The Raven”, “Stories of a Twisted Mind”, and “The New Emperor”, all of them went back to the shelf. I took out another book, it was a thick book, more like a notebook, it was falling apart, but for some reason I felt magnetized to it. I opened it, and began scanning it.
-That’s a poetry book, every time it’s touched, I ask the one who touched it to write a poem at the last sheet, without reading the others.
I nodded and went by the piano, I sat down and kept staring at the keys, I could still feel her gaze on my neck, it was as if she tried to read my mind. She keeps analyzing every single move do, I hate it. I roll up the sleeves of my jacket; I have been wearing black since that day, I began playing a song we used to play together, just a few notes from the intro.
-Mercedes’ Lullaby – she said – from Pan’s Labyrinth
Who is she; I nod my head and keep playing, the poetry book rests on my lap.
-I haven’t introduced myself – she says suddenly – I’m Faith Psyche Tourette.
I keep staring at the keys, she already knows my name, so I don’t have to bother introducing myself. She keeps smiling a gentle smile, she seems to have been with a lot of wackos, I don’t need a shrink; there is no need for me to stay here, I’m not crazy, I’m just sad, Wally was everything for me.
-You don’t need to talk I know what you are thinking, don’t worry, I don’t think you are crazy, I think you just need time, to think all that changed, I just need you to write the poem or story I asked you before, you can take the notebook with you, I’ll see you next week at this same time, don’t be late. – I just nod and walk away book in hand.
My family was there waiting for me, I look up at Jiro, letting him know that I’ll walk home, he nodded and went home, the rest o the Sanban Clan is already home, I walk gloomily towards the graveyard, I need to think alone, and at home they won’t let me.
As I turned in Madison’s street I saw Abby, she was waiting for me.
-Hey Kuki
I waved hi, in a I’m-not-in-the-mood way
-You know
I looked up (since I was looking at my feet)
-I’m getting sick of your non-speaking mood and your “I’ll avoid everyone on the world because my dear Romeo died.” –
I felt my rage rising, my blood boiling
-You are driving us Lizzie, Nigel, Hoagie, Rachel, Fanny, and me crazy. –
She paused a bit, I clenched my fist under my oversized black zip up jacket, I’ve used it all month, but she kept talking
– Not only that, you are also pushing us away, you should stop mourning over that idiot.
That was it I looked at her frowning, my fists clenching harder, I could feel my body tensing, and tears forming on my eyes.
- He is dead and there is nothing you can do about it, you can’t bring him back, and…
She didn’t got the chance to finish that sentence. Because I grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and began shaking her, - I CAN’T BEILIVE YOU! – My rage disappeared I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder, it felt like Wally’s hand I kept yelling but I released Abby – YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME, SPECIALLY YOU ABBY, KNOW ALL THE TIME I TOOK TO TELL HIM HOW I FELT FOR HIM, YOU KNOW ALL WE HAD TO FIGHT, - I calmed down released Abby, but kept screaming – YOU KNOW THAT MY FAMILY NEVER APREVED HIM, YOU DIDN’T APROVED HIM EITHER, HE WAS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH – my throat ached a lot, after I hadn’t spoken a single word, I began yelling at my best friend, I look down and began whispering – you didn’t even join me to his last good bye, you never lend me your shoulder to cry his death, you disappeared those first weeks, - I really didn’t mean all that, but it was to late now – so, WHY DON’T YOU DISAPPEAR AS YOU DID BEFORE AND LEAVE ME AWAY – I said and began running to the graveyard, I was crying again, from anger this time.
I sat beside Wally, and bean telling him everything that had happened over the past month.
-Oh Wally, wish you were here; I need you so much.
-I’m here Kooks, you don’t have to worry anymore, I’ll protect you, I’ll never leave you alone – the wind whispered on my ear, I knew it was Wally thou.
I stand up and kept crying hugging myself, I felt someone hugging me, I looked up, there he was, Wally.
-Wally. – I said he shushed me his warm arms around my waist, his muscular chest pressed against mine, his head resting on my shoulder, we sat down and it began raining really hard.
I fell asleep after a few moments.
The next morning
I woke up with the sun on my eyes, I incorporated to the world and stretched my self, I suddenly realize I was at the graveyard, besides me was a orange Rainbow Monkey that seemed old, Mr. Teddy, I hadn’t seen him in 8 years, Wally had stolen it. I was also covered with a baby blue blanket that once belonged to Wally, but the most unbelievable of all, was that I was wearing his tux’s jacket, the one he was wearing on his burial, I jumped out of “bed” and shook my head, I closed my eyes, and opened once again, the jacket, and the blanket had disappeared, but Mr. Teddy was still there, holding a white rose. I smiled at Wally. And took Mr. Teddy, hugging him I sat again by Wally’s grave.
It has been a month now, I’m back at school, I keep wearing black, I feel that color demonstrate what’s inside me now, nothingness, I walk by the school as a zombie, Wally is on every corner, there is a an altar for all those who have died this term, incredibly 3 more guys died, basically the same way Wally did.
Abby, Nigel Hoagie Fanny and Rachel, had been my friends since elementary, they had been helping me get through this torture, they keep talking about stuff and try to cheer me up, but I say nothing I’m slowly walking away, they never talk about Wally, they never liked him, and I guess they think that way I will be the cheerful happy-go girl I used to be.
Abby, is an Franco-American girl, she has dark skin, brown long hair always tied on a French braid, and she always wears a red cap, always since elementary. Nigel is a British guy, he is bald, and wears dark sunglasses. Hoagie is an American boy, he used to be chubby, but he became skinny, he has bluish eyes, brownish hair and he always uses a pilot cap and yellow goggles, thou they are always on top of his cap, and not really on his eyes. Fanny is an Irish girl, she is redheaded and she is really bossy, she always wears a green zip up hooded jacket, and Rachel, she is American too, I guess, ever really cared to ask, she wears a black sweater, and black denim jeans, she is blond and has dark brown eyes.
My friends constantly tell me that I should stop mourning over him; they know I go to the graveyard every day, and that I’m staying at my parent’s. My family has become worried to, surprisingly, they think I don’t pay attention to their reunions, but I do.
I really hate it, parties are thrown everywhere, and my friends are trying to take me there, but I truly only want some sleep and think of Wally, it has been now 1month, that was the day I thought all my dreams will come true, and the day all my dreams were crushed by reality. Once again I’m sitting here at the graveyard, this time I am not the only one, there are many families here, singing songs and weird stuff, they are telling some legends and stuff. “The Kid” is a friend of mine, I met him the same day I met Wally, he has Mexican roots, he once explained that on Halloween they go to the graveyard because on November 1st, Dia de Muertos, is celebrated, it’s a weird tradition where they sing songs, and tell anecdotes of the one that they came to visit, Nov. 1st and 2nd they come to be with them. I think I’ll ask him more of this weird tradition; he might be able to help me heal my pain away.
My parents came to take me out of the graveyard; they must be really concerned, other wise they would have sent Rose.
-Kuki – my mom said – we think that it’s better if you see some professional, because you have been all depressed lately, and ok we get that Wally was the best guy for you, but, things happen for a reason, and well we think that you should see a shrink.
My eyes widened at that last part, but I remained quiet, it was as if someone had cut my tongue I hold onto a loosen rock on Wally’s grave, I hadn’t noticed that before, my brothers, appeared right behind my parents, and Mushi came too, with Sandy holding her hand, they both had a cocky smile plastered on their faces.
My brothers helped me up, my father who was by my mother went to get the car, Mushi and Sandy kept whispering with each other and kissing and all that mushy things they do. I bet they do that on purpose right in front of me, like saying, “look, I still have someone to love, that loves me back, and he isn’t rotten like yours”.
My brothers helped me to stand, Ryoichi, saw that I wasn’t planning to move, so he and Jiro exchanged worried looks, Takeshi walked by my side, and carried me as if I was a sack of potatoes, Jiro took my backpack, and Ryoichi helped my mom, I began crying once again, I couldn’t understand why they have become so worried over the past month.
I’m sitting on the lobby of a medical institution, I’m going to talk to a shrink, mom said something about policemen that were going to see who killed Wally, and since I’m the only witness, they want me to testify but, I can’t remember a thing.
I feel a knot on my throat I might began crying again, I’ve cried so much this last month, you could think I’ve got no more tears to cry.
-Kuki Sanban – a voice said I looked up – Doctor Tourette will see you now.
I stood up, and entered the doctor’s office, it’s a circular room, filled with what you could say is one bog bookshelf that covered the whole room, it has two doors and a big window, but except for that all the room is filled with books, it has also a small desk near the window, with two chairs, a couch that’s also by the window, and a piano, that is in the middle of the room, I began walking by the wall, examining the office, Dr. Tourette hadn’t arrived yet, as I began observing the room I noticed there were about 6 ticking clocks each one with a complete different hour, there were also 5 calendars, that were also inaccurate, there were also fairies and dragons hanging by the ceiling, and a cellar that allowed light to get to the office. I saw a girl about Ryoichi’s age get inside, she was wearing a black blouse, and jeans, she had her doctor’s robe on, she had short silvery hair, brown eyes, and thin facial features.
She sat herself on one of the chairs by the desk, watching me, she hadn’t said a word, she watches me moving through her office, reading the titles of the books, I can’t go there and sit myself this office is nothing I had expected, all this books, they don’t seem to be medical books, there are more literature books, one book caught my attention particularly, it’s a medium sized book, lined with black leather, it has golden letters.
-Feel free to take any book and read it.
I took it out of the shelf and read the title, “Romeo and Juliet”, I put it back in, and keep examining the books, I also took “The Raven”, “Stories of a Twisted Mind”, and “The New Emperor”, all of them went back to the shelf. I took out another book, it was a thick book, more like a notebook, it was falling apart, but for some reason I felt magnetized to it. I opened it, and began scanning it.
-That’s a poetry book, every time it’s touched, I ask the one who touched it to write a poem at the last sheet, without reading the others.
I nodded and went by the piano, I sat down and kept staring at the keys, I could still feel her gaze on my neck, it was as if she tried to read my mind. She keeps analyzing every single move do, I hate it. I roll up the sleeves of my jacket; I have been wearing black since that day, I began playing a song we used to play together, just a few notes from the intro.
-Mercedes’ Lullaby – she said – from Pan’s Labyrinth
Who is she; I nod my head and keep playing, the poetry book rests on my lap.
-I haven’t introduced myself – she says suddenly – I’m Faith Psyche Tourette.
I keep staring at the keys, she already knows my name, so I don’t have to bother introducing myself. She keeps smiling a gentle smile, she seems to have been with a lot of wackos, I don’t need a shrink; there is no need for me to stay here, I’m not crazy, I’m just sad, Wally was everything for me.
-You don’t need to talk I know what you are thinking, don’t worry, I don’t think you are crazy, I think you just need time, to think all that changed, I just need you to write the poem or story I asked you before, you can take the notebook with you, I’ll see you next week at this same time, don’t be late. – I just nod and walk away book in hand.
My family was there waiting for me, I look up at Jiro, letting him know that I’ll walk home, he nodded and went home, the rest o the Sanban Clan is already home, I walk gloomily towards the graveyard, I need to think alone, and at home they won’t let me.
As I turned in Madison’s street I saw Abby, she was waiting for me.
-Hey Kuki
I waved hi, in a I’m-not-in-the-mood way
-You know
I looked up (since I was looking at my feet)
-I’m getting sick of your non-speaking mood and your “I’ll avoid everyone on the world because my dear Romeo died.” –
I felt my rage rising, my blood boiling
-You are driving us Lizzie, Nigel, Hoagie, Rachel, Fanny, and me crazy. –
She paused a bit, I clenched my fist under my oversized black zip up jacket, I’ve used it all month, but she kept talking
– Not only that, you are also pushing us away, you should stop mourning over that idiot.
That was it I looked at her frowning, my fists clenching harder, I could feel my body tensing, and tears forming on my eyes.
- He is dead and there is nothing you can do about it, you can’t bring him back, and…
She didn’t got the chance to finish that sentence. Because I grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and began shaking her, - I CAN’T BEILIVE YOU! – My rage disappeared I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder, it felt like Wally’s hand I kept yelling but I released Abby – YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME, SPECIALLY YOU ABBY, KNOW ALL THE TIME I TOOK TO TELL HIM HOW I FELT FOR HIM, YOU KNOW ALL WE HAD TO FIGHT, - I calmed down released Abby, but kept screaming – YOU KNOW THAT MY FAMILY NEVER APREVED HIM, YOU DIDN’T APROVED HIM EITHER, HE WAS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH – my throat ached a lot, after I hadn’t spoken a single word, I began yelling at my best friend, I look down and began whispering – you didn’t even join me to his last good bye, you never lend me your shoulder to cry his death, you disappeared those first weeks, - I really didn’t mean all that, but it was to late now – so, WHY DON’T YOU DISAPPEAR AS YOU DID BEFORE AND LEAVE ME AWAY – I said and began running to the graveyard, I was crying again, from anger this time.
I sat beside Wally, and bean telling him everything that had happened over the past month.
-Oh Wally, wish you were here; I need you so much.
-I’m here Kooks, you don’t have to worry anymore, I’ll protect you, I’ll never leave you alone – the wind whispered on my ear, I knew it was Wally thou.
I stand up and kept crying hugging myself, I felt someone hugging me, I looked up, there he was, Wally.
-Wally. – I said he shushed me his warm arms around my waist, his muscular chest pressed against mine, his head resting on my shoulder, we sat down and it began raining really hard.
I fell asleep after a few moments.
The next morning
I woke up with the sun on my eyes, I incorporated to the world and stretched my self, I suddenly realize I was at the graveyard, besides me was a orange Rainbow Monkey that seemed old, Mr. Teddy, I hadn’t seen him in 8 years, Wally had stolen it. I was also covered with a baby blue blanket that once belonged to Wally, but the most unbelievable of all, was that I was wearing his tux’s jacket, the one he was wearing on his burial, I jumped out of “bed” and shook my head, I closed my eyes, and opened once again, the jacket, and the blanket had disappeared, but Mr. Teddy was still there, holding a white rose. I smiled at Wally. And took Mr. Teddy, hugging him I sat again by Wally’s grave.
Chapter 3
Memories
Sitting here by the window, with some diaries by mi side I wonder what did we do wrong, I’m remembering some of the good times we had reading my infancy diaries.
It’s finally raining, a soft rain, I have gone almost every day to visit Wally, a week after his burial, I begin going every day and spending a big part of the day sitting there by his side, the first week after his dead was the most difficult one to me, it was so hard to accept that he was forever gone, that first week I used to sleep all day, hopping that all this was just a nightmare, but it wasn’t.
The week I decided to visit Wally, the soft rain started, I keep wearing my engagement ring, I just take it off to shower, and to sleep, those times it’s on it’s box.
-DIARY ENTRY- (reading)
First day at Gallagher Elementary
Dear Diary:
Today was my first day of school at Gallagher Elementary, I’m 7 years old and I’m going to start 1st Grade, I’m wearing my favorite sweater, it’s a green one, and it once belonged to Ryoichi. He is my favorite brother; he has always been taking care of me; I’m also wearing some black denim jeans and my black Converse; I brought my purple backpack.
Takeshi is entering 3rd, and Jiro 5th, Ryoichi is on 7th, Mushi is just 2 so she is staying home.
I was walking backwards talking to my brothers, they were telling me what to do next, I’m happy we all are at the same school, Junior High, (Ryoichi’s school) is across the street, I suddenly felt someone crashing against me, ad we both fell to the ground, my brothers are already with their friends.
-Hey!- I yelled
-Watch it you cruddy girl – said a boy – I’m walking here
-SOOOOOOOOOOOORRRY, BUT YOU COULD ALSO WATCH WHERE YOU ARE WALKING TOO
-YOU WERE WALKING BACKWARDS! STUPID GIRLY GIRL
This boy was incredible weird, he is a shorty, he has a terrible bowl cut, messy blond hair, beautiful green eyes thou, he ring an orange hoodie, some baggy blue jeans and white sneakers, and a blue backpack.
-DON’T CALL ME STUPID YOU JERK!
-HEY AT LEAST I DON’T NEED BODYGUARDS TO PROTECT MYSELF – he said, that’s when I noticed my two brothers, Jiro and Takeshi (Ryoichi had already entered school) were behind me with angry looks, this by walked inside the building muttering something, and I turned around to my brothers.
-I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP! – I told them and went inside the building looking for my new homeroom.
I found the room and saw an empty desk, I walked to that seat and sat down still angry and muttering under my breath, I felt someone tapping my shoulder, and when I turned around, I couldn’t believe it, it was that boy I crashed with earlier.
-Hey – he said – hum, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier
-Hey - I said – it’s ok I wasn’t looking where I was going – it was amazingly fast how all my rage went away in a few second, he was being so nice, I knew from that very moment we would be good friends.
-BTW my name is Wallabee Beatless, but you can call me Wally
I giggled – My name is Kuki Sanban
-I like your name Kooks – he said charmingly, he is a tough he was fighting some other kids at recess as I was simply eating my lunch and hanging on the monkey bars.
We sat down together all day I hope we can be good friends forever.
-END OF DIARY ENTRY –
I smiled at my diary entry, I was so happy that day, and Wally began being my tranquilizer, after I met him I almost never felt Rage, or he fought it of me, he was really special
I kept reading my diaries, it helps me be calm and don’t cry every single minute of the day. I haven’t talk a word since he died, it’s really hard for me to talk, I just shake “yes” or “no” and wave hi and good bye, I basically use my hands to communicate the basics. I don’t even talk to Wally; I just sit down by his grave and stare to space, or lay down watching clouds pass by.
I’ve seen Takeshi following me, he never says a thing, he just makes sure I get Ok to the graveyard and to the mansion; Jiro worries about me and sends food to my room, as I just get outside to go to the graveyard; Ryoichi is always talking to my parents, something about a shrink for me, he believes that it will help me get over Wally, I know the 3 of them hated him, but they loved me and they were really hard on him since the day we met, they always watched him closely, he could never touch me harder than if I was a fragile rose, nor talk to me louder than if we were a library, he couldn’t even stare at me for a long time, not to mention personal space, he must be always at least a foot away from me, never closer.
Mushi, well, she is a complete different story, she always was complaining about me spending to much time with Wally, she seems happy about my loss right now, well, before she ran away with Sandy again, she and Sandy seemed to be happy about it, they had been dating since they were 7 and 8 respectively, that’s almost 10 years now, it’s not weird they ran away, they have done so since they began dating, and they come back after a few days, they went away after Wally’s burial, and they haven’t come back.
About the murderer, I don’t know who it was, I can’t remember a thing, and the police has no idea that Wally was murdered, it would be a scandal for his family and mine, so no one knows that Wally was murdered, except my family and his, not even our friends, they think it has a heart attack, and they just say “he was so young, how in the world did that happen?” but that’s all, they ask no questions.
I have two houses, the Big House, that’s the mansion, and there I spend summer, and holydays; and my department, my Small House, it’s right behind the dorm rooms of the college I assist. Big House is where we come in hard times to be together and solve our problems.
-DIARY ENTRY- (reading)
New Friends
It’s been a week now at Gallagher Elementary, I’ve got to know Wally, we are always talking to each other, he seems to be a bit spoiled, well I’m spoiled to, what I want I get the second I want, and he is exactly the same, but he fight his way to get things, he is always yelling to teachers, asking for new training stuff, we likes wrestling a lot, and he is a mean boy, today we were at PE and he suddenly began punching this guy with no apparent reason, I helped this other guy pushing Wally away and yelling at him with all the rage hidden in me, I know I shouldn’t be so like that, filled with rage, but I just am the way I am.
Anyway we started pushing each other and “fighting” not in the playful way we had fought I felt my rage raising again, I couldn’t control it, and then well I punched him hard on the face with my fist, and slapped him, he just stared at me with a confused look; I had never been so angry on my life.
-I HATE YOU- I said slapping him again and walking… storming away
I hope Wally forgives me of what I’ve done, and I also hope he apologizes for what he have done.
I walked to where this guy was and say
-I’ sorry, my friend is a bit impulsive
-Hi, NP, you are impulsive too
-HEY!
-No offense
-None done
-I’m Nigel Uno by the way, and she – he said pointing at an African American girl- is Abigail Lincoln
-I’m Kuki Ikary Sanban
-Ikari?- said Abby
-Yeah it’s Japanese for … hum … anger, literary
-That’s funny- said Nigel, I frowned at his remark
-Abby thinks the name fits you, but Kuki is better.
(I know I’ll be laughing at this someday I read it, but that’s how I met them, I know we are going to be good friends)
Oh yeah I’ve decided I won’t talk to Wally until he apologizes for his behavior.
-END OF DIARY ENTRY –
I smiled at this, my cheeks hurt when I do, it’s from my silent weeks I know it, I haven’t talked nor smiled for over a month now.
Sitting here by the window, with some diaries by mi side I wonder what did we do wrong, I’m remembering some of the good times we had reading my infancy diaries.
It’s finally raining, a soft rain, I have gone almost every day to visit Wally, a week after his burial, I begin going every day and spending a big part of the day sitting there by his side, the first week after his dead was the most difficult one to me, it was so hard to accept that he was forever gone, that first week I used to sleep all day, hopping that all this was just a nightmare, but it wasn’t.
The week I decided to visit Wally, the soft rain started, I keep wearing my engagement ring, I just take it off to shower, and to sleep, those times it’s on it’s box.
-DIARY ENTRY- (reading)
First day at Gallagher Elementary
Dear Diary:
Today was my first day of school at Gallagher Elementary, I’m 7 years old and I’m going to start 1st Grade, I’m wearing my favorite sweater, it’s a green one, and it once belonged to Ryoichi. He is my favorite brother; he has always been taking care of me; I’m also wearing some black denim jeans and my black Converse; I brought my purple backpack.
Takeshi is entering 3rd, and Jiro 5th, Ryoichi is on 7th, Mushi is just 2 so she is staying home.
I was walking backwards talking to my brothers, they were telling me what to do next, I’m happy we all are at the same school, Junior High, (Ryoichi’s school) is across the street, I suddenly felt someone crashing against me, ad we both fell to the ground, my brothers are already with their friends.
-Hey!- I yelled
-Watch it you cruddy girl – said a boy – I’m walking here
-SOOOOOOOOOOOORRRY, BUT YOU COULD ALSO WATCH WHERE YOU ARE WALKING TOO
-YOU WERE WALKING BACKWARDS! STUPID GIRLY GIRL
This boy was incredible weird, he is a shorty, he has a terrible bowl cut, messy blond hair, beautiful green eyes thou, he ring an orange hoodie, some baggy blue jeans and white sneakers, and a blue backpack.
-DON’T CALL ME STUPID YOU JERK!
-HEY AT LEAST I DON’T NEED BODYGUARDS TO PROTECT MYSELF – he said, that’s when I noticed my two brothers, Jiro and Takeshi (Ryoichi had already entered school) were behind me with angry looks, this by walked inside the building muttering something, and I turned around to my brothers.
-I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP! – I told them and went inside the building looking for my new homeroom.
I found the room and saw an empty desk, I walked to that seat and sat down still angry and muttering under my breath, I felt someone tapping my shoulder, and when I turned around, I couldn’t believe it, it was that boy I crashed with earlier.
-Hey – he said – hum, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier
-Hey - I said – it’s ok I wasn’t looking where I was going – it was amazingly fast how all my rage went away in a few second, he was being so nice, I knew from that very moment we would be good friends.
-BTW my name is Wallabee Beatless, but you can call me Wally
I giggled – My name is Kuki Sanban
-I like your name Kooks – he said charmingly, he is a tough he was fighting some other kids at recess as I was simply eating my lunch and hanging on the monkey bars.
We sat down together all day I hope we can be good friends forever.
-END OF DIARY ENTRY –
I smiled at my diary entry, I was so happy that day, and Wally began being my tranquilizer, after I met him I almost never felt Rage, or he fought it of me, he was really special
I kept reading my diaries, it helps me be calm and don’t cry every single minute of the day. I haven’t talk a word since he died, it’s really hard for me to talk, I just shake “yes” or “no” and wave hi and good bye, I basically use my hands to communicate the basics. I don’t even talk to Wally; I just sit down by his grave and stare to space, or lay down watching clouds pass by.
I’ve seen Takeshi following me, he never says a thing, he just makes sure I get Ok to the graveyard and to the mansion; Jiro worries about me and sends food to my room, as I just get outside to go to the graveyard; Ryoichi is always talking to my parents, something about a shrink for me, he believes that it will help me get over Wally, I know the 3 of them hated him, but they loved me and they were really hard on him since the day we met, they always watched him closely, he could never touch me harder than if I was a fragile rose, nor talk to me louder than if we were a library, he couldn’t even stare at me for a long time, not to mention personal space, he must be always at least a foot away from me, never closer.
Mushi, well, she is a complete different story, she always was complaining about me spending to much time with Wally, she seems happy about my loss right now, well, before she ran away with Sandy again, she and Sandy seemed to be happy about it, they had been dating since they were 7 and 8 respectively, that’s almost 10 years now, it’s not weird they ran away, they have done so since they began dating, and they come back after a few days, they went away after Wally’s burial, and they haven’t come back.
About the murderer, I don’t know who it was, I can’t remember a thing, and the police has no idea that Wally was murdered, it would be a scandal for his family and mine, so no one knows that Wally was murdered, except my family and his, not even our friends, they think it has a heart attack, and they just say “he was so young, how in the world did that happen?” but that’s all, they ask no questions.
I have two houses, the Big House, that’s the mansion, and there I spend summer, and holydays; and my department, my Small House, it’s right behind the dorm rooms of the college I assist. Big House is where we come in hard times to be together and solve our problems.
-DIARY ENTRY- (reading)
New Friends
It’s been a week now at Gallagher Elementary, I’ve got to know Wally, we are always talking to each other, he seems to be a bit spoiled, well I’m spoiled to, what I want I get the second I want, and he is exactly the same, but he fight his way to get things, he is always yelling to teachers, asking for new training stuff, we likes wrestling a lot, and he is a mean boy, today we were at PE and he suddenly began punching this guy with no apparent reason, I helped this other guy pushing Wally away and yelling at him with all the rage hidden in me, I know I shouldn’t be so like that, filled with rage, but I just am the way I am.
Anyway we started pushing each other and “fighting” not in the playful way we had fought I felt my rage raising again, I couldn’t control it, and then well I punched him hard on the face with my fist, and slapped him, he just stared at me with a confused look; I had never been so angry on my life.
-I HATE YOU- I said slapping him again and walking… storming away
I hope Wally forgives me of what I’ve done, and I also hope he apologizes for what he have done.
I walked to where this guy was and say
-I’ sorry, my friend is a bit impulsive
-Hi, NP, you are impulsive too
-HEY!
-No offense
-None done
-I’m Nigel Uno by the way, and she – he said pointing at an African American girl- is Abigail Lincoln
-I’m Kuki Ikary Sanban
-Ikari?- said Abby
-Yeah it’s Japanese for … hum … anger, literary
-That’s funny- said Nigel, I frowned at his remark
-Abby thinks the name fits you, but Kuki is better.
(I know I’ll be laughing at this someday I read it, but that’s how I met them, I know we are going to be good friends)
Oh yeah I’ve decided I won’t talk to Wally until he apologizes for his behavior.
-END OF DIARY ENTRY –
I smiled at this, my cheeks hurt when I do, it’s from my silent weeks I know it, I haven’t talked nor smiled for over a month now.
Chapter 2
As I finish my breakfast, I sat down by the window, the one that faces the gardens and driveway; it will probably fill my mind with memories, tons of them. It’s cloudy again, I wonder if rain will fall today… as I sit down I see my parent’s car and my brother’s car go down the driveway turn left and disappear, heading to the church.
My family likes to go every Sunday to the church, to gossip a little and to “pay” for the sins they commit all the week. I have 3 elder brothers and my baby sister, from the eldest to the youngest we are (including my parents of course), and the sin we commit, none of us is saint, so we commit sins, and the strongest are ironically part of our name:
Ryo Kin Sanban, he is my father, he is 47-years-old, and his sin is Greed, he is a tall man about 5’9”, raven black hair he wears a military style, his eyes are a deep blue, almost purple, he has a thin mustache and he always wears a nice black suit, with his always ironed white shirt, and his ugly stripped tie, blue and red, and his always polished black shoes. His name, Kin, means golden. He is always looking for a way to make more money than we already have, he is always looking for diamonds or sapphires, he buys everyone and everything that is on his way, so he basically lives in his office making money.
Genki Leiko Sanban, she is my mother, she is 45-years-old, and her sin would be Vanity (Pride) she is about 5’2”, raven black hair, always on really weird does, that make her look “elegant” and she is always wearing new dresses, I have never seen her wear one twice, after she wore them, they are on sale and some other weird ladies buy them for twice it’s original price, so my father never notices the money movement. Her name, Leiko, means arrogant, that fit’s her just right, any way, she is always gossiping at parties held in somebody’s house over here or on the other side of the world, that makes my father be happy, ‘cause that means his business will somehow grow again. She lives there at parties, but she never fails to get to church, the very first sermon and she is already there, praying.
Ryochi Yukio he is the primogenitor and, of course my eldest brother, he is 27-years-old, he was born when my mother was 18 and my father 20, don’t ask what happened there, I don’t want to know and I bet you don’t want to know, so, let’s skip that and keep on. He is really handsome, a hot looking guy, he has brown hair just like my grandmother from my father used to have, he has some sweet look on his face, just as he knew nothing about nothing and had still his innocence, he is about 6’ and he is “a dream come true”, well a last hat’s what his girlfriend’s and ex-girlfriends had said, oh yeah his sin is, Lust, and he is a double timer, he had dated five girls at the same time, worst of all, they knew, and they didn’t care. ‘Till he broke up with them… I’m surprised he hasn’t got any kids. Yukio means He gets what he wants, clearly, and Ryochi means first son of Ryo, lame. And he is 27, still single and he says marriage doesn’t fits him, I bet he is single because that way he can keep with his affairs and romantic life freely.
Jiro Ringo (don’t ask) he is the second male born, Jiro, and Ringo means Apple, so that’s just weird, his sin is Gluttony, I can’t believe the amount of food he eats, morning, noon, afternoon, night, anytime you see him, he is eating. Even thou he is skinny, I guess that’s a family thing, we all are skinny, anyway, he has silvered hair and some awesome green eves, he is 5’ 8”. He is really sweet and his wife loves to cook for him, so as you can see, he is just happy with what he have gotten. He is 25 and he had been married for 3 years now, he is childless.
Takeshi Kiyoshi, he is my elder brother, he is the youngest male, and he is very sweet too, he is about 5’ 6” and has raven black hair, I guess the two eldest got the best hair color, the next two got the best eye color, and the little one, well, we’ll get there. He has some awesome gray eyes, he is always sitting around doing nothing, he amazingly Aced all his school, his sin, Sloth, he got himself a girlfriend that, amazingly, does everything, almost, for him, I mean, if it was for him, he’d stay in bed all day long, he has a job that allows him to work from his home, and his maids are always looking after him, he is just as lazy as … well you know what I mean.
My turn, Kuki Ikari, also known as “the flirt”, not that I needed to flirt to get the boy I wanted, every one, but Wally, he wasn’t into that, or that was he said, I’m 5’4” proud of my height, I’m tall and my family is tall all of them, I have raven black hair, waist length, straight naturally, I usually wear it on a half pony tail, I’m really thin, I have deep purple eyes, and my sin, is Rage, I can explode any minute, for everything, or for nothing, I’m 21, I was a lucky-happy-go girly-girl, I was known as a bad tempered demon, I forced my way by threats and yelling, every kid my age knew that, of course, I changed when I met Wally, I became peaceful, and I stopped yelling, I only yelled at him and made him do what ever I wanted to do. I never really liked to go to church, but my mother forced me to, if I didn’t come, she would look bad, and if she looked bad, then I was facing a big sermon, and some … severe punishment. Ikari means anger.
Mushi Takako, my baby sister, she is 17, and is the baby of the family, after she was born, my mother decided to get her Fallopian trumps knotted. She is 5’ 2”, she has some brown eyes, and she had always been living on the shadows of us 4, Ryoichi is the athletic one, he has gotten loads of trophies at sports, individual and team, Jiro is the cool one, he has always had the correct attitude, Takeshi is the brainy, acing everything since kinder garden ‘till collage, winning every academic contest, every scholarship, and me, I’ve got the looks, but I had never a good attitude, you’ve guessed right, her sin, is Envy, she wants the best of all us, she got Sandy as her boyfriend, he gives her everything she needs, care, love, self esteem, everything, still I think she isn’t happy, she had always wanted to have what others have, the biggest beach ball, the biggest sand castle. Everything has been quite hard for her, she is cute, and still wears her hair on pig tails, she ran away with him a couple of years ago, they came back after a couple of days, so we guess they only went wild after some party. Takako means hawk girl; you know like the hawks that have their eye on something and will never fail to get it, that’s Mushi.
My family isn’t the best you could have, we have never been together, and we don’t know much about each other, we always had dinner together, we talked about school and work, social events, and small talk actually.
We each have a maid, a cook, a butler and a driver, we have each a car, mine is somewhere at the garage, I call my driver when I need the car, I love walking so I almost never use my car, and my driver just drives me to school and back home, just because my mother order that, other wise I’d walk. I wish I had called him on Friday; that way, Wally would still be alive.
Wallabee “Wally” Beatless, he was a really nice guy, he was 5’8” he was a sporty, just as Ryoichi, he had blond hair on a bowl cut, always messy, always covering his green eyes, he was from Australia, he was tough on the outside, we became friends when we were 7, but he meant nothing to me, nothing more than another friend I could control by my rage attacks, he soon became the only subject of my rage attacks, and he became the soft and caring guy I fell for when I was 15. He was always there for his friends, but mostly for me, I guess he some how knew what my family was. He was my knight on shinning amour. He came from a small family, which cared for each other, and knew each other perfectly well.
That’s my family, they have gone to church as every Sunday since I can remember, Ryoichi said we have always go to church, that parents have never missed one sermon, not one, well, it’s barely 9:00 am and they all started to clean their sins, I just can’t go there, I know they’ll talk about wonderful Wallabee Beatless and how he is on “greener pastures” on a “better place”.
Sitting here, I can see our favorite spot, the park’s biggest tree, that faces the lake, and had always had a wonderful atmosphere for romance and stuff, but we were always on the branches of that tree, making fun of those couples that went there to admire a sunset, unfortunately, that was where we spent our most romantic moments.
As I watch the day pass by I began remembering all kind of memories.
My family likes to go every Sunday to the church, to gossip a little and to “pay” for the sins they commit all the week. I have 3 elder brothers and my baby sister, from the eldest to the youngest we are (including my parents of course), and the sin we commit, none of us is saint, so we commit sins, and the strongest are ironically part of our name:
Ryo Kin Sanban, he is my father, he is 47-years-old, and his sin is Greed, he is a tall man about 5’9”, raven black hair he wears a military style, his eyes are a deep blue, almost purple, he has a thin mustache and he always wears a nice black suit, with his always ironed white shirt, and his ugly stripped tie, blue and red, and his always polished black shoes. His name, Kin, means golden. He is always looking for a way to make more money than we already have, he is always looking for diamonds or sapphires, he buys everyone and everything that is on his way, so he basically lives in his office making money.
Genki Leiko Sanban, she is my mother, she is 45-years-old, and her sin would be Vanity (Pride) she is about 5’2”, raven black hair, always on really weird does, that make her look “elegant” and she is always wearing new dresses, I have never seen her wear one twice, after she wore them, they are on sale and some other weird ladies buy them for twice it’s original price, so my father never notices the money movement. Her name, Leiko, means arrogant, that fit’s her just right, any way, she is always gossiping at parties held in somebody’s house over here or on the other side of the world, that makes my father be happy, ‘cause that means his business will somehow grow again. She lives there at parties, but she never fails to get to church, the very first sermon and she is already there, praying.
Ryochi Yukio he is the primogenitor and, of course my eldest brother, he is 27-years-old, he was born when my mother was 18 and my father 20, don’t ask what happened there, I don’t want to know and I bet you don’t want to know, so, let’s skip that and keep on. He is really handsome, a hot looking guy, he has brown hair just like my grandmother from my father used to have, he has some sweet look on his face, just as he knew nothing about nothing and had still his innocence, he is about 6’ and he is “a dream come true”, well a last hat’s what his girlfriend’s and ex-girlfriends had said, oh yeah his sin is, Lust, and he is a double timer, he had dated five girls at the same time, worst of all, they knew, and they didn’t care. ‘Till he broke up with them… I’m surprised he hasn’t got any kids. Yukio means He gets what he wants, clearly, and Ryochi means first son of Ryo, lame. And he is 27, still single and he says marriage doesn’t fits him, I bet he is single because that way he can keep with his affairs and romantic life freely.
Jiro Ringo (don’t ask) he is the second male born, Jiro, and Ringo means Apple, so that’s just weird, his sin is Gluttony, I can’t believe the amount of food he eats, morning, noon, afternoon, night, anytime you see him, he is eating. Even thou he is skinny, I guess that’s a family thing, we all are skinny, anyway, he has silvered hair and some awesome green eves, he is 5’ 8”. He is really sweet and his wife loves to cook for him, so as you can see, he is just happy with what he have gotten. He is 25 and he had been married for 3 years now, he is childless.
Takeshi Kiyoshi, he is my elder brother, he is the youngest male, and he is very sweet too, he is about 5’ 6” and has raven black hair, I guess the two eldest got the best hair color, the next two got the best eye color, and the little one, well, we’ll get there. He has some awesome gray eyes, he is always sitting around doing nothing, he amazingly Aced all his school, his sin, Sloth, he got himself a girlfriend that, amazingly, does everything, almost, for him, I mean, if it was for him, he’d stay in bed all day long, he has a job that allows him to work from his home, and his maids are always looking after him, he is just as lazy as … well you know what I mean.
My turn, Kuki Ikari, also known as “the flirt”, not that I needed to flirt to get the boy I wanted, every one, but Wally, he wasn’t into that, or that was he said, I’m 5’4” proud of my height, I’m tall and my family is tall all of them, I have raven black hair, waist length, straight naturally, I usually wear it on a half pony tail, I’m really thin, I have deep purple eyes, and my sin, is Rage, I can explode any minute, for everything, or for nothing, I’m 21, I was a lucky-happy-go girly-girl, I was known as a bad tempered demon, I forced my way by threats and yelling, every kid my age knew that, of course, I changed when I met Wally, I became peaceful, and I stopped yelling, I only yelled at him and made him do what ever I wanted to do. I never really liked to go to church, but my mother forced me to, if I didn’t come, she would look bad, and if she looked bad, then I was facing a big sermon, and some … severe punishment. Ikari means anger.
Mushi Takako, my baby sister, she is 17, and is the baby of the family, after she was born, my mother decided to get her Fallopian trumps knotted. She is 5’ 2”, she has some brown eyes, and she had always been living on the shadows of us 4, Ryoichi is the athletic one, he has gotten loads of trophies at sports, individual and team, Jiro is the cool one, he has always had the correct attitude, Takeshi is the brainy, acing everything since kinder garden ‘till collage, winning every academic contest, every scholarship, and me, I’ve got the looks, but I had never a good attitude, you’ve guessed right, her sin, is Envy, she wants the best of all us, she got Sandy as her boyfriend, he gives her everything she needs, care, love, self esteem, everything, still I think she isn’t happy, she had always wanted to have what others have, the biggest beach ball, the biggest sand castle. Everything has been quite hard for her, she is cute, and still wears her hair on pig tails, she ran away with him a couple of years ago, they came back after a couple of days, so we guess they only went wild after some party. Takako means hawk girl; you know like the hawks that have their eye on something and will never fail to get it, that’s Mushi.
My family isn’t the best you could have, we have never been together, and we don’t know much about each other, we always had dinner together, we talked about school and work, social events, and small talk actually.
We each have a maid, a cook, a butler and a driver, we have each a car, mine is somewhere at the garage, I call my driver when I need the car, I love walking so I almost never use my car, and my driver just drives me to school and back home, just because my mother order that, other wise I’d walk. I wish I had called him on Friday; that way, Wally would still be alive.
Wallabee “Wally” Beatless, he was a really nice guy, he was 5’8” he was a sporty, just as Ryoichi, he had blond hair on a bowl cut, always messy, always covering his green eyes, he was from Australia, he was tough on the outside, we became friends when we were 7, but he meant nothing to me, nothing more than another friend I could control by my rage attacks, he soon became the only subject of my rage attacks, and he became the soft and caring guy I fell for when I was 15. He was always there for his friends, but mostly for me, I guess he some how knew what my family was. He was my knight on shinning amour. He came from a small family, which cared for each other, and knew each other perfectly well.
That’s my family, they have gone to church as every Sunday since I can remember, Ryoichi said we have always go to church, that parents have never missed one sermon, not one, well, it’s barely 9:00 am and they all started to clean their sins, I just can’t go there, I know they’ll talk about wonderful Wallabee Beatless and how he is on “greener pastures” on a “better place”.
Sitting here, I can see our favorite spot, the park’s biggest tree, that faces the lake, and had always had a wonderful atmosphere for romance and stuff, but we were always on the branches of that tree, making fun of those couples that went there to admire a sunset, unfortunately, that was where we spent our most romantic moments.
As I watch the day pass by I began remembering all kind of memories.
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