Chapter 13

It has been 2 weeks since valentines, and well Wally's dad disappeared he just, I didn't even knew him that much, but I guess it was a hard blow and all, specially with Wally's B-day, March 3rd, Wally died on January 13th, and was buried Jan 14th. I'll be spending the rest of today here at his grave, I brought him a white rose as always, there have been now 15 roses now, I'll bring him 6 more. and our bouquet will be done, I have gone silent again, and I had once more been lonely, Abby and Nigel had been quite supportive, Hoagie is also supportive, but for some reason he has drifted apart, I'll go tomorrow to Mrs, Sanban, I really want to know what was that about not dieing yet.

Ace is here at the graveyard with me... he is making me believe, I'm worthless, I hate him so much, I didn't knew Wally would be attacked by some weirdo that night.

I ran back home, I can't take it any more, I feel so sad! I can just cry out my eyes, and I really need to see Wally again, I took a meat knife on my way to my bathroom, I open the hot water an sit inside the bathtub, I’m shaking, I press the blade against my wrist, today is Wally's b-day, and he had been dead one month and 3 weeks.

The cold blade is cutting through my skin; I can feel every single muscle, every single fiber of my skin breaking apart. I am sitting on my bathtub, fully dressed; I'm wearing his favorite outfit, some black jeans and a polo type dark green shirt, my sneakers, my hair is done in that messy bun I used to wear at high-school.

I have a photo album in my lap, it’s open at a picture of me and Wally, the day he finally asked me out I was wearing exactly the same; the notebook the shrink gave me is there to, open on that last entry, my entry, there is just one thought on my head right now. As Juliet killed herself with a blade, after Romeo, I will kill myself to follow my dear Wally to the other world.

-Life's a bitch, then you die, and it's over. I'll skip the bitch and proceed immediately. - I said as I close my eyes and think of Wally; I try to ease the pain on my wrist; I know I’ll die. The pain is so strong I start crying, the tears are steaming my face as they go down, I suddenly feel no more pain, I open my eyes and I see him there by my side.

I faint once more, and when I woke I just see my mother's disaproving face, and my brother's concern face, Mushi is smiling, and father is at his cel, taalking japaneese.

I faint again, and after a week or so in observation, I'm back home. Then the shrink stuff we all know, about checking my mental stability, and my phsyque, Dr. Tourette is quite weird, I like her, she is a good friend, and she doesn't tell me what to do, just listens to me.

In April My friends, Abby and Rachel, gave me a dog, an apple head chihuahua, like the one Elle has, in Legaly Blond ... It's been One year, One month, Two weeks, and Three days since Wally died, the first year I tried to kill my-self once, about a month after Wally´s death, near his b-day, and last month, I attemped it again just by his b-day once more, still alive, still depressed, my friends thought that maybe what I needed was someone to love, and as I like cute small things, they thought maybe this chihuahua was the best thing I could use, April the 1st, April's fool, Wallys fav day, and my personal hell, when he was alive, anyways, since I got this dog, I began sleeping, and resting, I gain 2 pounds, wich is good, since Id lost about 6 or 7, so I named him Kiseki, which is japanese for Miracle.

I'm sitting on my bed, with Kiseki by my side, he is licking my scars, two thin scars in each wrist, they are done the right way, you know? not side to side, but along the veins ... I think Wally won't let me die that easily, I wonder where his family went, they just evaporated, as if hey never existed, I'm visiting Wally today, I'm taking Kiseki with me, he follows me everywhere.

-Wally? - I say as I sit by his Grave - Loo who came!, he is Kiseki, we could consider him as our son right?, He reminds me so much of you

-Kuki? What are you doing here? - Dr. Tourette said

-Oh, Dr. Tourette. I came to see Wally, see? there he is, he is so good looking, he seems brighter today, he has a special glow in his face, that makes me feel quite good - I replied

-I see, and who is this son you were talking about?

-This - I said picking Kiseki up - is Wally's and me's baby, his name is Kiseki

-Oh I see - she said with that doctor look in her face, the one she's given me every day I visit her since Wally's death and my suicide attempt

-Stop doing that- I said

-Doing what? - she said simply

-The examining critizisng analizing my words thin you always do

- Oh, I'm not doing that, I know you are still sad, and you use Kiseki to ease your pain, that's good, you are trying to move forward

-No I'm not, I want to stick by Wally I love him and he was is, and always will be the one I love, even after death, I'll join him someday, and we'll live together after death - I said forgetting who she was, she would send me to that hospital I was threatened about, you know, the one with happy pills, and white puffy walls, where you are only allowed to use a shirt and shorts

-Ok Kuki calm down, I'll see you tomorrow, wear something comfy

-Ok ..

Yikes! I knew it!! she is going to drug me again, and Kiseki had to see that, of course he was growling and barking at her, but he behaved nicely, after she went away, Kiseki ran back to Wally and began licking the air. Or so it seem, Wally was here I knew it.

I felt arms twisting around my waist and a pressure on my back, I hugged his arms and began humming a lullaby, we all sat down by the tree nerby, and just enjoyed the nice quiet, silence that grew on the graveyard.

-You be nice, quit the jokes, and stop that death thing, I won't be able to save you one of this days, please, I don't want you to die.

-but Wally I need to be with you in flesh

-No but's Kuki, you have to take care of our son, of Kiseki, he has your fiery spirit

-Wally I need you

-just be patient Kuki

-come on Kiseki, we need to go now, see you later Wally

After we left the graveyard I met Ryoichi, I haven't seen him since he got married, not his fault really.

-Hey Ikari, how is it going? - he asked, he is alone, so I guess he was looking for me again

-Yukio, I'm just fine thank's and don't use my second name, you know I don't like it

-Hahaha, yeah I know, we only use those names when Dad's around, and at the church, speaking of which, - he said joining me on my way back to the small department, I moved out of my parents again, I was being suffocated. - Will you go to the memorial for all te kids that had been dieing after Wallabee?

-I ... I don't know, it makes me depressed - I said picking Kiseki up - but, you know mom, we can't miss any sermon

-Yeah I guess, mom has a great influence over you

-It's not that Ryoichi, it's just that Genki, has always made us go, and if I miss a sermon I feel weird, like if I were missing something

-Oh, I guess you're right, so I'll see you there?

-Yes Ryoichi, I'll see you there - I said entering the building, I love my eldest brother he always was my favourite, but i can't tell him my intencions for Sunday.